Second Hour, Ramping Up Writing for Pee Wee - RIP

Bear with me as I start playing with words again, those musings flitting around my brain, my heart. 

Today, this is on my mind. I wonder if it is on yours as well…

I spend far too much time thinking about the lives of celebrities. I’m 62 for crying out loud! What is it about their lives on AND off screen that fascinates me??

Today, of course, it’s Pee Wee - or I guess, truthfully, it’s Paul Reubens, but I really only knew him as Pee Wee. And I feel like I knew Pee Wee. I spent countless hours - maybe formative years! - watching Saturday morning Pee Wee Herman in his crazy-creative, animated and highly kinetic playhouse. Most times, at the end of an episode, I was akinetic, somewhat stunned by the brilliance of whoever thought all that stuff up (Today I learned it was Paul Reubens and Phil Hartman, or Captain Carl as I knew him in those days! By the way, I have all five seasons on cd if you haven’t seen it!)

Many years that have passed since then as well as definitions of proper and right when it comes to the news. I remember, though, that something strangely mysterious happened to Reubens in the ‘90s. I only caught bits and pieces back then but it seemed sexual and I remember hearing that it had occurred in a sexual place. In my innocence, I wondered how many others might have done something sexual in a sexual place - No one? Ever? Just Pee Wee? 

Maybe I should be grateful today for the reprieve from my mentally-looped video of Cardie B throwing her microphone at the apparently malcontent fan who had just seconds before, thrown a drink at her. I don’t think that is the first time Cardie B has thrown something either. I’m not saying she is a grade-A player for the microphones team, but sister-friend was no stranger to a passion-filled windup pitch. I’m just saying. Was it warranted? 

Was that Will Smith slap warranted? I know someone who thinks so much of the “comedy” performed by “comedians” today is deserving of a slap of some kind. For the record, that line of not allowing the name of his wife, Jada, in offender Chris Rock’s mouth is the whip! Oh how I wish we had such power some days. 

And then there is the great prophetess Cher, who recently created her own brand of gelato. Ain’t that grand? We are going to soon be eating the same gelato that Cher eats! I can’t wait to buy it! Because, well, it’s Cher! I so clearly remember some of my earliest memories, sneaking down the stairs and sitting on the last step, straining to hear every joke and line of the televised Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour. To this day, I really don’t understand my fascination with them - I named my pet Gerbils after them, for crying out loud again! (And did my mom really let me listen to those very provocative songs about tramps and thieves? I’m telling you I missed her edginess back then! Was I blind? Note: I also have the Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour on cds.)

Btw, the latest headline says Cher leads the tributes for Paul Reubens today. She knew him. She loved him. Her and I share a special grief for someone who undoubtedly made us laugh, maybe at the same characters and maybe at the same lines. Could that even be? 

I think it could be, especially back then. It seems indisputable that we were more unified in the days before 62, finding levity and escape in the shared experience of Saturday’s episode of Pee Wee’s Playhouse. Today, everyone watches any number of shows, all at once, at their own pace, sometimes pounding through a whole season in one sitting. There are so many different channels, apps, and websites that we rarely even watch the same shows any more. 

Add it to the reasons for our lonely lack of connection these days. Are we even laughing at the same things? 

While Pee Wee nearly always made us laugh, I felt a deep sadness when I read about him passing today - I also felt a melancholy for a shared experience I may never know again. How I long for only three choices on my tv (and Channel 50 on a good day!) We use to share universally experienced moments like “Na-nu, na-nu” from a rainbow-suspendered alien or a “pork chops and apple sauce” delivery from a smart-alecky teenager to his very Brady family. The next day every single person was talking about these moments in the halls as we passed from class to class.

Today I am fascinating on Paul Reubens, grateful for the way he made me laugh as his character Pee Wee awkwardly burst out laughing and swung his body wildly during the tequila dance. Did he enjoy it too? His last post on social media makes me think so: “Please accept my apology for not going public with what I have been going through the last six years. I have always felt a huge amount of love and respect from my fans, friends and supporters. I have loved you all so much and enjoyed making art for you.”

I felt that - did you??

 

 

In memory of Jerrie Sue...

I started attending church with my husband just before we were married in 1994. At the time, I went to church, went to service, then left. I was overwhelmed by all of the new faces, my new mother and father inlaw, his grandparents, his first, second and third cousins. I felt like everyone knew me – and I knew no one.

Shortly after we had my daughter in 1996, I found myself taking her to the nursery. That nursery on the second floor of the church was where EVERYTHING happened! And I mean EVERYTHING! And everyone who attends that church knows it. If a new initiative didn’t make it past the nursery, it didn’t make it for the church as a whole. Within those walls, holding those sweet tender babies were the strongest women I have ever known.

Of course, it wasn't long after sitting in that room for the first time when I heard a voice that I pray today I will never EVER forget. It was loud. It, too, was strong. And I knew that whomever it was directed at was going to abide by the short forceful command, “STOP RUNNING!” I reached down and covered Isi with what I suddenly wished was a soundproof blanket.

I waited for David to come get us in the nursery that morning … In part because I was afraid… As I left, I peered into every single room up there on the second floor. Across the hall was this sweet looking grandmother, talking to what looked like the Pastor's sons. Surely it wasn’t her. Too sweet. Too grandmotherly.

It wasn’t long before I learned that IT WAS HER! If the nursery and the second floor was command central at that church, I quickly learned that Jerrie Sue was commander in chief … Well, honestly ... Jerrie Sue was second in command behind her mother, Doris, whom I also loved very very dearly. Those two women MADE.IT.HAPPEN.

By the time I had Colton, 15 months after Isabella, I quickly discovered I needed help. My parents and David’s parents were busy. I was overwhelmed with the responsibility of raising what suddenly felt like a family of 10. Jerrie Sue had already grabbed Isi from me plenty of times DESPITE my quiet request that she wash her hands first - and my follow up 20 questions about ALL exposures to ANY illness. I stood in amazement as she ignored all of my requests and inquiries. And I was even more amazed as Isi laughed and cooed at the Commander in Chief. By the time she grabbed Colton for the 25^th time and worked her charm, I KNEW that Jerrie Sue was going to be a HUGE part of our lives. She loved my kids. She LOVED them. And they loved her, despite her sometimes loud barking commands that made ME want to run and hide. When we needed her most, Jerrie Sue made herself busy with us. I will never, ever forget that.

I remember asking the kids one day if Jerrie Sue ever scared them with her sometimes loud and forceful direction. They they looked rather puzzled and laughed at me; “NO! Why would we be afraid??"

After all, who can be scared of Mother Goose and her bag of movies and M&Ms? Who can be afraid of a Grandma who watched them whenever we called for however long we needed her, without hesitation? When we came home, we knew our kids had probably had more fun that evening than we ever had. And we knew that whatever note we had left about feeding them their green vegetables and NO M&Ms had been ignored … especially as we found Dixie cups of M&Ms all around the house. She ignored us – but she never ONE TIME ignored them.

I will close with this. Mother Goose wasn’t all just fun and games - and M&Ms. Also stuffed in her bag was all kinds of educational activities from word searches to math problems. She sat those kids down at some point during her stay and taught them to love learning. Any academic success my kids have today came because Jerrie Sue planted and watered that seed time and time again. Jerrie Sue was a teacher – sometimes whether she realized it or not. Jerrie Sue taught me how to be a better mother. Her long talks with me after everyone else went to bed taught me how to be a better friend. She taught me that sometimes – gloriously – the bark is so much bigger than the bite. That when your heart is in the right spot, nothing else matters. Jerrie Sue’s heart was so in the right spot.

This family will never be the same without Jerrie Sue. She is a part of us now even though she is gone. She is deep in our hearts and every single thought and memory is a treasure.

Rest in peace, Jerrie Sue... You were truly loved