Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Going Home

2:25 pm – LaGuardia

They just took my anti-bacterial hand cleaner and Shari’s toothpaste and Aveda foot cream. I feel so much safer – especially since Shari had no idea I swiped her stuff! The evidence is gone. Truth be told, I think the cats put her stuff in my bags. I know I didn’t. Those cats ended up taking several of my items (Shari warned me when I arrived they might). Funny thing is, I always found the items returned in my stuff. So they are nice thieves. Once they were done playing with my contact case and my head scarf, they put them away. You can’t beat that for manners.

So I am here in the airport, shoes off – no I am not in the security line! I am avoiding contact with the blisters on the bottom of my feet. I earned every one of them over the last four and a half days. Call it the start of an added regime to my diet – which, btw, I blew on TWO pieces of Red Velvet cake and a dream bar. I had to compare bakeries – so my pusher said as she returned yesterday with my bagel and lox and the second piece from the renowned Magnolia Bakery. I had caved the night before in utter exhaustion – where else on earth can one purchase a piece of Red Velvet cake??? After filling me with sugar and carbs, Shari had the utter nerve to suggest I keep walking blisters on my feet since we got such a good start over the last couple of days. Yeah, sure.

Among the things I don’t understand about New York: why are there so many shoe stores offering straps and high heels? How in the world do all those women who pass me on the street in spiked heels keep from transitioning to Birks or Nikes – hey, wait a minute – perhaps that is the key! We were wearing the wrong kind of shoes!! If I had been in spiked heels, I might be better off right now.

Hard to imagine, especially after seeing woman after woman walking on the bricks of the meat packing district last night. Reminded me of, “don’t step on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back.”

We schlepped over to Lotus at about 11:30 pm, hoping to be among the elite (in our Birks and Nikes!) Shari made her way past the coifed and asked the doorman about the dress code and cover. With perfect droll, he responded that there was a dress code and that the cover is determined at the door. She had to see the “door person.” So PC! However, his icy cold glare pretty much gave a clue to the cost for us – there isn’t enough money in New York to cover our presence. After all, Paris might be in there! If she was, we missed her.

We schlepped over to a couple other places – Pastise of Sex and the City fame included. No dice. No longer serving food.

Schlep, schlep, schlep … We finally found a place that would take our money, next to the renowned club pm. Best darn Italian food I have ever had! Green ravioli with mushrooms. Melted in my mouth as we watched two yellow Ferraris float by and the line grow longer and longer. Russell Simmons passed by with a friend. Right in front of our sidewalk table! More of a gawker than we, a tall dude with a tail rushed over to tell him he watches his brother’s show all the time. We found out this morning that his brother is part of Run DMC. Whatever.

Please understand, by that time, we had our fill of star sightings. Afterall, we were in the audience of the world premiere of Usher as Billy Flynn! Main floor, last row, so we saw every single star who snuck in or out. In fact, we teamed with those beside us and in front of us for an all out search of the faces. The Italian couple next to us were absolutely lost as I tried explaining who Felicia Rashad is – Bill Cosby? Head shakes no. Cosby Show? No. Any English at all? No. The German women in front of us gave us the latest gossip on who is doing what on the German gossip pages. Despite their objections, we spotted Penelope Cruz to our left, talking on the phone despite the repeated requests to turn phones off. Gail King did not look gay at all, I might add. She was there, also to our left. I could have reached out and touched Ben Vareen – he was wearing a suit with red converse tennis shoes! Our kind of schlepping!! And there was Rosie Perez, Mario (we didn’t know him but the other teammates did). I think we counted 10 stars in all, just feet from our seats…

Afterwards, we stood among the throngs of people (throngs = a lot) waiting for Usher to appear as well as the others. Cameras were absolutely everywhere. When he appeared, people shrieked! Police were everywhere. Cars couldn’t move. It was truly a New York red carpet premiere – and we were there. Shari and I, there, in the crowd, craning our necks, standing on things to be able to peer over the persons in front of us. My Mom’s digital camera in hand. In our Birks and in our Nikes!

Just thinking about it hurts my feet!

A few other closing thoughts: the cats and I never did become friends even after I cleaned their litter box, played with them with their toys, laid on floor hoping to appear vulnerable and safe. Nada. Didn’t happen. I miss Kit Kat!

And, I miss David, and Colton and Isabella. I miss home. It will be good to be able to wake up now from this unforgettable dream.


Sharon said...

very cute tale, sounds like you're still a "kid";) skt

Anita said...

Aren't you the jet setter! I'm sure you've appreciated some time with your gal-pals after the last few months you've had. By the way, Usher was in Charlotte for a Nascar hoo-hah in May. We hung out in the same suite. I would rather have seen Rosie, Gail, Ben or even Mario. I can't believe that you don't watch Food Network!