I can’t resist checking out the small animals at Magoo’s
when going to get dog food for Hollister. They have quite an assortment of
birds, lizards and rats (still gag!), guinea pigs and gerbils.
This time as I
perused the aisle, I suddenly fell into a 45-year-old memory of me desperately
wanting one of the little furry creatures that I could carry with me in my
pocket and pull out any time day or night. Time suddenly stood still as I
remembered picking out all the gerbils I ever had, baby gerbils so I could make
sure I could tame them to my human touch. I so distinctly remember truly
believing that these small little pets would be so wonderful to have with me. I
would do everything I could to make their little lives perfect.
And it usually
worked out great for a while. I fed them, bought them great little gerbil toys,
cleaned their gerbil homes, and gave them great gerbil treats. They must have
been happy with all my care and attention. I would take them out of their
little homes frequently and pet them oh-so-gently out of great affection for
their companionship. These little gerbils added so much meaning to my life. I
loved having them as a part of my daily existence.
Until they bit
me.
And they ALWAYS
ended up biting me.
I stood there
this morning staring at the gerbils, remembering how disappointed I felt with
every single gerbil I ever brought into my life. I had hoped for the perfect
companion. I worked hard at giving them a really great life.
But they bit me.
Every single gerbil I ever bought bit me.
And what is a gerbil if they just stay in their cage and run
on that wheel? I wanted them to love me back – I wanted them to look forward to
me coming home and pulling them from their tiny little homes into the far more
comforting place of my hands.
Was that so awful? Did they have to bite me? Some drew
blood!!
I lost interest in gerbils after a while. As much as those
little furry creatures seemed to beg me to free them from the store, I knew
they would turn on me, even after I had given them my very best.
As I turned away from them this morning, climbing the walls
to get out of their cage, seeming to plead with me to take them home, I thought
about the amazing ways God can speak to us about greater truths in life.
Am I still that little girl wanting perfect companions that
won’t bite me? Do I do that with people too?
Maybe that’s why I like dogs and don’t mind hurting my
back loading a 20-pound bag of dog food into my car. Hollister has never bitten
me – at least not yet. What would I do if he did? Would I lose interest in caring
for him?
I think I would.
So now what am I supposed
to do with THAT??
For now, I’m going to look forward to going home tonight and
seeing Hollister literally jump for joy at seeing me, like I am the greatest
person in life, like he is so so grateful to just be with me, to have me pet
him and take care of him – and to be a wonderful companion in a life that
simply does not have enough shared moments of utter joy of simply being
together…
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