Another distinction for Flint!

ABC12.com: National walking magazine names Flint No. 1 walking city

I'm hoping my doctor misses today's paper! I keep asking for diet "support." She constantly suggests an alternative to a pill that I can pop and avert the rumbly in the tumbly. "Walk," she says, without missing a beat with that ice-cold stethescope.

Walk, I balked! How can I walk?? I have two kids that need my constant attention. "Take them with you," she keeps listening as I breathe in, then out. "I have a son," I said with feigned exasperation. "If I take him, I will have to constantly stop to pull him from the trees!"

Come to find out, there are lots of people walking in Flint - and I thought it was just in my neighborhood! Do you know that I once heard two women walking down the street at 3:30 am, talking as if it were mid-day?

I could probably do that if I could drag myself out of bed!!!

Apparently, a national magazine called "Walk!" lists Flint as the nation's best city for walkers. The story is on the abc12 website, per my little brother in Seattle! Ha, it's not the first time he told me what was happening in Flint!

One walker was quoted as saying that people don't really understand that Flint is safe, at least in the downtown area. The walker-talker is right. Our downtown is safe - with lots of construction going on, building dreams for a better tomorrow. A walking tour would prove to be of interest if we could just get the burbinites to let go of their fears. We are so much our own worst enemies, fueling a myth more rooted in racism than the actual crime stats.

I use to think Flint natives were unique in their perspectives of our city - that is until I met a man who moved from Toronto to work in Flint. I was amazed since I have spent lots of money going the opposite direction on the Queen's Highway. Who in their right mind would leave Toronto for Flint?? He did, and he talked like it was the best move he ever made. In fact, most of the imports in this town speak very highly of our community and all the resources we have in a fairly compact environment.

I think the imports probably walk - they likely walk right past "those people" who are still afraid of driving in the city limits, let alone stopping at a stop sign.

So how did Flint make the list? Nominations came from "Walk!" magazine readers. Some of the areas of consideration: Walking clubs, athletic shoe stores that understand the mind and body of the walker, and available walking and hiking trails.

I bet my doctor has a subscription to "Walk!" I'm looking for it the next time I am sitting in her waiting room!

Update, of sorts

Couple things...

I am at the Fat Club on Wednesday, going through the shame of standing on the scale and hearing how successful (or unsuccessful!) I have been at warding off temptation. Psychologically, I usually go feeling defeated anyway since I pal around with a brown-nosing, life-timing, star-pupil, 39-pounds-lighter-in-a-month Fat Clubber. How can I compete with THAT!? Last week, I KNEW I was at least 10 pounds lighter for all the no's I delivered to the food devil. One point four pounds, is how they delivered my fate, as if that compares to 10 - as if the .4 is even worth noting! I thought of the star-pupil. The women recording the weight tried encouraging me. "Hey, it's a loss. You didn't gain!"

This week I felt more prepared. I jumped up on the scale and heard that I had once again missed that 10 pound reduction - by seven point six pounds!! For those of you who are doing the math, it's a loss of 2.4. Ok, so it's not 10 (the brown-noser lost 7!), but it is better than last week. I felt the encouragement this week was somewhat more genuine from the skinnier chick behind the counter. Not bad, I guess, it all adds up...

I go home, enter my weight online - wait - I enter it again. WHAT!!!!!? She did the math wrong!!! I only lost 1.4!!!! I tried and tried different combinations to reach her 2.4 - nothing worked! I felt defeated, dejected - and fat. I hate the Fat Club!

But I LOVE our new puppy! Samwise Hollister aka Snoop Dog is a cute little cockapoo, though he truly reminds me of Odie because he seems like that kind of partner for Kit-Kat. She's so wise and maternal as he dances crazily around her, nipping on her tail. She gently head-butted him last night to try and guide him on the right path. How cute is that!?

Signed, Fatty

Tony Snow and the Edwardes

Having watched two family members die of cancer within the past year, the news of Tony Snow and Elizabeth Edwards has touched me. I have found myself thinking of them many times over the last couple days, especially Tony Snow after hearing that his cancer has returned and has spread to his liver. When he was appointed press secretary to Bush in 2006, I thought he was nuts, not because he was taking a thankless job for a sure-to-be rough ride at the close of a Presidency, but because he had just survived a bout with cancer with radiation, chemotherapy and a portion of his colon surgically removed. After such a sobering brush with mortality, I wondered why would he even think of jumping into such a raging political fire? Had he not reconsidered his life and how he could live each day with unshackled purpose, unfettered to the nonsense and the political gamemanship? I can't help but wonder what Tony Snow is thinking now, if these truly short days have been lived as he dreamed, as a press secretary always on call, whose allegiance must go so far beyond the day-to-day routine.

I watched quietly as Elizabeth Edwards spoke oh-so-bravely of her continued support of her husband, who with her input, decided to continue his campaign for President. Her cancer has spread to her bone with several hot spots flaring in her hip if not elsewhere. And yet, she too decides to keep going, to keep playing the game, to spend what could be her last days speaking on behalf of her husband who just might be the first widowed President to take office. She closed her comments by saying "she chooses to be inspired."

Am I inspired?

In the darkness of our own personal journey with such aggressive cancers as these, it seemed many decisions were created with a similar hope, to continue living despite the likelihood of a soon-to-be dying reality. There were days when we struggled to simply live a normal day, free from a deadly diagnosis. We would try and forget that the days were likely numbered. We rationalized, analysed and trivialized every symptom and hope. We questioned and reasoned aloud that decisions seemed based in a denial, a truth just beyond our reach, rather than with facts none of us wanted to truly live.

The truth we clutched and embraced with our hearts, however, is that all of us wanted more, not of the busy-ness and meaningless conversations, but of the personal truths as can only be conveyed by our souls.

My hope for Tony Snow and Elizabeth Edwards is that they share the personal truths of their very souls in the spotlight they now command. My hope is that they grip the hearts of the American people with unabashed honesty and bravery of vulnerbility. Each can speak to our hearts now like no other public figure or politician. Their honesty could create a more lasting and meaningful legacy than their continued allegiance to a system in need of great repair regardless of which party they might support.

I will look for those moments of sobering reality when Tony Snow quits playing the game according to someone else's rules, when Elizabeth Edwards tells this country why it is so God-awful important to elect her husband for the Presidency. I will look for what is said in quieter moments of recovery, after they have reviewed their days and determined what is of real value in this life.

My heart is with them and their families in these weeks and months to come.

Sara-bye,bye

I'm feeling a bit JRish. Remember when he was shot and the next season he was simply dreaming?

I feel like the last few days were like that - a dream, a fleeting vision of merriment and joy. Not that life in Flint is all bad, mind you (Don Williamson said things are getting better, after all). But, Sarasota! Bradenton! Where fort art thou?

Ok - so the real story is my husband and Angela planned the whole trip, not that I figured that out any sooner than you did if you read my last entry. Yes, the manager and all her minions did come to our table at Applebee's and tell us we were the 100,000 customer, earning us a four-day trip to Bradenton WITH the plane leaving Detroit in less than six hours! What I learned later was David has been spending too much time watching "The Jamie Kennedy Experience." He created the coupon and slipped into the eatery a bit early to set the scene for Birthday Boy and me. (Birthday Boy aka David Stephenson, Angela's husband!) We always try to outdo one another in celebrating birthdays. Birthday Boy and I Punk my husband and Angela in honor of their years; they put us on television with a trip to the Sunshine State. I think we win whichever way you slice it!

Words do not do this episode justice. Not only did we eat at places of distinction and honor, but we stuffed ourselves like royalty with fresh fish, salads and unusual liquid refreshment. Whether we had blue cheese stuffed olives with our martinis or fire and ice chilled shrimp, no one left the table without appreciation for the cooks!

Strangely, the number of people we saw from Flint helped foster my feeling that all was a dream. From our arrival on Thursday night when we met with a whole group of folks who were down there to golf (IS it even spring break???), to family members who just happened to be there as well. I kept scratching my head wondering why everyone chose this week to visit the sun! And to all be in the same place?? Go figure!

So I am reading, Meet the Beatles, a great history of the fab four. I just finished the chapter on John Lennon being an artist who actually attended art school (who knew??!) Well, what is happening at St. Armand's Circle in Sarasota? None other than John's art exhibit, put on by Yoko Ono. We left the two in the Columbia and headed for the exhibit (Birthday Boy likes Lennon!) After mild discussions that border on insane, we decide to forego our plan to purchase the $6000 print and share it between our two houses. I was strongly tempted to pick up the "Watching the Wheels" lyrics handwritten by John - I think my favorite song of his right now. Nay, I ran from the temptation - and purchased a pair of knock off Crocs instead. A bit more affordable - Birthday Boy does NOT want to share them!

And we shopped some more as tourists do.
And we Segwayed through the historic district. Segwho, you say? The Segway is a two-wheeled platform that balances your body per your own movement. Lean forward, you move forward - tip back, backwards you go. Angela said no at first, then weakened, said no, weakened, no. The diliberations continued until she made it past the initial shakeup getting on. In fact, she said she watched that I couldn't do it any better and thought she wasn't so stupid afterall. Thanks. She's such a pal. And we tooled around the Botanical Gardens, saw the Doll Family houses (of circus lore), wheeled past the bay, through the city and spent much of the time taunting Angela who still wasn't sure she would make it through the tour balancing on the two wheels. In truth, I did run into her once (or was it twice?). She nearly fell. I laughed. So did Birthday Boy. Birthday Boy was a bad boy on the Segway - the teacher kept telling him to behave!! I don't think he heard her.

All of us heard the bells, however, the last bell tower in Sarasota. I told Angela that I had read that the bells were designed to ring in honor of Ringling (the whole town commemorates the circus family Ringlings!!). Listen, I told her, ring-ling, ring-ling. Just like shown on Polar Express, she heard it! Yes, she exclaimed, I hear it. (I swear, I could even see her head bouncing to the syllables!!) She then quickly told the tour guide that her friend had read this amazing fact about the bells. He told her they changed the ring to honor the new Chinese restaurant - Ling-ring, ling-ring. She tried telling him I was telling the truth - that I had read it on the Internet. Please don't tell her any different... Let's just keep this between me and you...

And, well, there is so much to tell of this dream... Suffice it to say, Birthday Boy and I won the shell finding contest as the sun slowly slipped into the bay.

And, we had the most fun ... at least in this dream anyway.

3.1.07 4:36 pm

Happy March! You’ll never guess where we are right now. Go ahead – guess…

Okay, I’ll tell you: Detroit Metro, waiting for a flight to Florida! Who knew?? I sure didn’t!

So Angela calls me yesterday and asks if I would meet her for lunch. I didn’t think much of it at the time even though she RARELY does such invites. So she calls today just to make sure I would be there. Yup! I’ll be there. I may be late … but.

So I walk into Applebees, craining my neck to find Angela. Nope, don’t see her, but look, there’s David waving across the restaurant with a goofy grin on his face. I better go say hi, right? I get a little closer and notice he is sitting with Angela’s husband! I thought, David is copying me again! He knew I was coming and wanted to beat me to the punch. Brother!

So he invites me to sit down. No, I try and beg off. (I hate to crash a party!) Then he insists, “Sit!” Ok, I’ll just wait for Angela…

In she comes, blustery and confused. She uttered something about her friend dropping her off. What? Dropped you off? We are at the restaurant! Who was going to take her back?? I guess I will have a little longer lunch hour today.

Then, David pulls a drink from behind the ketchup holder – wa la! I thought it probably has a fly in it! Angela was still muttering something about her friend having to go get her kids – nope, she changed mid-sentence, she was just kidding. Kidding? About what part?? She tries to explain …

I become so thoroughly confused when suddenly it occurs to me that this might have been set up in advance – OH MY GOSH! THEY ARE GOING TO DO A BRITNEY ON ME!!! “Is this an intervention,” I ask???

THEN, from around the corner every single staff member comes to our table – OH – they are going to sing Happy Birthday to David Stevenson – his birthday is tomorrow! OH, it all makes sense now! This is a birthday party!!

But wait, no, the manager has a paper in her hand claiming that someone at the table is the 100,000 customer at the Applebee’s and has won a trip for four to Florida!

WHAT THE HECK!??? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON???

The catch? The flight leaves tonight at 5:30!!! WHAT???

The paper showed a trip for four to Florida…

SOOOOOOO, here we are… Florida bound…

Illness

Colt is laying in the floor of the bathroom with his pillow and blankets. He's been sick since yesterday about 5 pm when he went to bed with very little cajoling. We knew he was sick on that fact alone. He woke up around 4 am and hasn't returned to his bed since. Poor thing. Through it all, we have heard various comments from the cold floor of the bathroom. Once, he was talking to himself saying, "Don't throw up, Colton. Don't throw up." Around 10 am, he began screaming for food, as if we had him locked down in some cold, dark dungeon. When I explained that his stomach could not tolerate the food, he accused me of starving him. I really just sat there in disbelief.

I'm a bad Mom because I decided I would let him find out the hard way. I gave him some water, like a good jail guard would. I explained that he must drink it slowly because it is like his stomach is angry. It does not want anything in it for awhile. Of course, within a few minutes, he was sick again ... and apologizing to his angry stomach, "I'm sorry, stomach. I'm sorry." When David prayed over him, Colt suddenly turned very Pentecostal with "yes, Lord" responses to every thought uttered. If you could see the serious furrowed look on his face ... His Pentecostalism slips in at times like these. I remember another time when he was laying in his sick cell, begging God to "take me from my misery." He's never quiet. Every heave and hoe comes with a deliberate cry for help, "Please, someone comfort me!"

Parenting is hard. I've spent the last 24 hours wanting to scream from my own cell - and that was before Colt was sick. There is so much I do not know how to do, how to train, how to ingrain in their hearts and souls. I watch, I listen. I talk and explain. I just want them to be happy. When they are not, I want to clang my tin cup against the bars of my cell. It feels so hopeless after I feel like I have done so much.

My mother laughs at me. She feels some vengeful sense of God getting even. I wish she wouldn't. I'd rather have her help. David is mystified, claiming he doesn't care if they like him or, in essence, if they are happy. He thinks our job is beyond that. I told him if that is the case, I wished HE would get the brunt of their unhappiness then. I tried to explain that, in fact, he SHOULD get the brunt of it because he is the mean one in the house. Unfortunately, they never seem unhappy when he is around.

He looked at me the way I looked at Colt this morning when he accused me of starving him (NOT that I am like Colton!!).

I'm now thinking I'll go shave my head and get a tattoo. That will teach 'em all!

On my mind...

Anna Nicole - I think Howard adored Anna. From the earliest days, I saw it in the way he looked at her, the way he catered to her. And I believe she loved him in a way she loved no one else, not even Zsa Zsa's Prince! He made her feel safe, protected. He proved his loyalty to her time and again. More so than anyone else. In the end, she remained with him - not her Mom, her long line of old boyfriends, her assistant Kimmie. I hope Howard gets the kid, not that I think he is necessarily the biological father. I do think he will make the best Daddy. He knew and loved Anna more than the rest of them. I think he will cater to Danilynne Hope the way he catered to Anna, regardless of the money involved.

War plans - yes, it's always on my mind. I read last night that the original plans called for a mere 5,000 troops remaining in Iraq by Dec. 2006. Oops, another miscalculation in a long line of them. For the record, we are up to 3135 American troops dead and 23,530 injured. Another 62,296 Iraqis are dead in Iraq, with British sources reporting more than 100,000 civilians. At what gain?

A little post Valentine fun - I set up my friend on an online dating service, went through the grueling 45 minute personality profile questionnaire, thinking she would be entertained at best. She isn't. In fact, she hardly answers the phone any more. I keep calling her with updates and inquires from Allen, Marc and Phil. She just lets me leave another exasperated message.

Britney shaved her head! I just read the salon is going to auction off the shorn locks. It's hard to even comment on this one.

Still cold here, very cold - 18 degrees seems balmy compared to the below zeros we have been experiencing. I opened the door the other day and was almost pushed back by the frigid blast! I loved it! What could be more exhilerating? What could serve as a better reminder of how very little control we have in this life? We can't change the weather! (Well, not immediately anyway, Global Warmers!)

Until next time...

Sleep Test

David is not here. Have you heard of a sleep test? That's what he is doing. I suspect he is not sleeping though. I wouldn't be. The test includes being hooked up to machines via wires. What happens when he wants to turn over? Anyway, his doctor wants to see if he has sleep apnea. I guess approximately 30 million Americans are victims of this sleep disorder with many millions more predisposed and at high risk of developing the illness. For adult males, the odds are about 50/50 that their breathing is not normal when sleeping.

For the record, I think David's breathing is normal while sleeping. However, research shows that it is imperative that anyone who might have this problem or is predisposed, or knows someone they care about who has the problem, should have the clearest possible understanding about it.

So, here we go...

David told his doctor that sometimes he feels like he stops breathing in his sleep. He added that I sometimes wake him up because I think he has stopped breathing. I don't think he told his Doctor that I have an anxiety disorder and I frequently think people stop breathing. I check the kids at least once a night to make sure they are still on the inhale. At the theater the other night (for Flicka!), a kid behind me started coughing. I checked to make sure he was still breathing. It's what I do. I don't know why.

What is Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA)?

People with Obstructive Slee Apnea (technical term - don't expect you to understand it) or OSA, as we call it, experience recurrent episodes during sleep when their throat closes and they cannot suck air into their lungs (apnea). This happens because the muscles that normally hold the throat open during wakefulness relax during sleep and allow it to narrow. When the throat is partially closed and/or the muscles relax too much, trying to inhale will suck the throat completely closed and air cannot pass at all. This is an obstructive sleep apnea episode.

Oh my gosh! WHAT?? Is this saying that David's throat is completely closing and air cannot pass at all??

A cessation of breathing must last 10 seconds or more to be called an apnea. Obstructive apnea episodes can last as long as two minutes and are almost always associated with a reduction in the level of oxygen in the blood.

TWO MINUTES??? WHO CAN STOP BREATHING FOR TWO MINUTES??

When an individual is in the midst of an obstructive sleep apnea episode, as long as sleep continues, the apnea continues. It is only terminated and the victim's life is saved by waking up.

LIFE SAVED?? WHAT??

This arousal instantly increases the activity of the muscles of the tongue and throat muscles that enlarge the airway. The victim will be able to breathe and to once again fill the lungs with life-giving oxygen. This cycle may be repeated hundreds of times a night while the sufferer has no idea it is happening.

WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY TO SUFFER - HAVING NO IDEA YOU ARE!

What are the cardinal symptoms?

* Fatigue and tiredness during the day.
YUP, HE'S GOT THAT!

* Loud snoring; if the loud snoring is repeatedly punctuated by brief periods of silence or choking sounds, the individual is certain to have obstructive sleep apnea.
NOPE, RARELY SNORES. OF COURSE, HE'S NOT BREATHING...

Other common features are:
* Obesity - I THINK NOT. POOR GUY IS STARVING...
* Small jaw, thick neck - HOW ABOUT A THICK HEAD?
* High blood pressure - HOW BOUT RAISING OTHER PEOPLE'S BLOOD PRESSURE??
* Restless sleep; the repeated struggle to breath can be associated with a great deal of movement. - NOPE - HE IS OUT WITHIN TWO MINUTES, NEVER TO MOVE AGAIN EXCEPT WHEN KIT KAT WALKS ACROSS HIS HEAD.
* Depressed mood and/or irritability - NO COMMENT.
* Reduced sex drive and impotence - AHHH, NO.
* Snorting, gasping, choking during sleep - WHERE HAVE I BEEN?? I AM THE LIGHT SLEEPER HERE - AIN'T HAPPENING!

Not as commonly reported but may be present:

* Feeling that sleep is strangely unrefreshing - WE HAVE TWO SMALL CHILDREN!
* Difficulty concentrating - I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING...
* A dry mouth upon awakening - I AM GOING TO START CHECKING FOR DROOL.
* Excessive perspiration during sleep - NOPE. EXCEPT WHEN HE FORGETS TO TURN THE HEATING BLANKET OFF.
* Heartburn - AHHH, YES. FINALLY, ONE!
* Rapid weight gain - NOPE - HATE HIM FOR IT!
* Morning headaches - WHAT IF HE IS A MORNING HEADACHE?
* Change in personality - WELL, WELL, WELL...
* Memory lapses - AND HE ACUSES ME OF NOT TELLING HIM ANYTHING!!
* Intellectual deterioration - HE CONTINUES TO HAVE A MIND LIKE A STEEL TRAP!
* Frequent nocturnal urination (nocturia)- THAT SOUNDS BAD, BAD. I DON'T THINK SO IF IT IS WHAT I THINK IT IS.
* Confusion and severe grogginess upon awakening - THAT IS ME!!
* Specially in young children, large tonsils and adenoids. There may be chest retraction during sleep (the sternum and the spaces between ribs pull unnaturally inward when trying to inhale)
HANG ON, I HAVE TO GO CHECK THE KIDS AGAIN!

How serious is OSA?
DANG SERIOUS, OBVIOUSLY!

Depending on the degree of severity, OSA is a potentially life-threatening condition. Someone who has undiagnosed severe obstructive sleep apnea is likely to have a heart attack,
WHAT???
a stroke,
OH, COME ON!
cardiac arrest during sleep,
OH GREAAAATTTTT!
or a harmful accident.
HARMFUL ACCIDENT? THEY LOST ME THERE. WHAT, FALLING OUT OF BED?

In addition, awakening to breathe hundreds of times in a single night causes the victim to become very sleep deprived. There is a constant risk of serious accidents such as falling asleep while driving as well as impaired function in the workplace and in personal relationships.
OKAY, HMMM, THAT COULD EXPLAIN A FEW THINGS...

All of the negative consequences of OSA increase as severity increases. Untreated OSA tends to progressively worsen and sooner or later will result in partial or complete disability and death.
OH MY GOSH!!!

You can do a number of simple things that will convert your suspicions into certainty. The best first step is to involve your spouse or other family member. He or she can audiotape or videotape you while you are sleeping.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD BE GREAT FUN!!

The sounds and repeated silences and struggles to breath are highly characteristic.
WELL, MAYBE NOT!

A sleep disorders centeris where David is at tonight for a recommended all night sleep study. This test will absolutely prove the presence or absence of OSA, and perhaps more important, will yield a clear indication of the severity of the problem. The all night test is called a polysomnogram. The following functions are always continuously monitored: air flow, respiratory effort, blood oxygen level, snoring, and body position. Brain waves, eye movements, and muscle activity may also be monitored. The test involves no pain and is covered by insurance. When the test is performed in a sleep disorders center, you are monitored and observed by a sleep technologist, videotaped, and connected to a variety of sensors which are typically placed on your scalp, eyes, nose, finger, chin, chest, abdomen and legs.
TOLD YOU HE WASN'T SLEEPING!!

The most commonly prescribed treatment for obstructive sleep apnea is continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP). The CPAP machine delivers air pressure through a small nasal mask that the patient wears while sleeping. The pressure acts as an "air splint" which keeps the throat open eliminating obstructive apneas and allowing you to breathe normally all night long. Sleep becomes uninterrupted and restorative. For many patients, CPAP therapy dramatically improves their daytime functioning as well as their general health. CPAP is not a cure, but a noninvasive therapy for managing OSA.

OH MY - NOW I DON'T THINK I WILL BE ABLE TO SLEEP EITHER!

Vote no to keep academic doors open!

As a professional woman who is committed to do everything I can to advance the educational opportunities in this community, I find myself troubled and moved to respectfully address the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative to be decided upon by voters in November. With many public educational institutions formally voting to stay out of the public discourse, I feel their position is a great disservice to the students and would-be students of every academic institution in the state of Michigan, and most certainly a disservice to the Flint community being served by educational professionals.

It was not that long ago when females, African Americans and other minorities were largely missing from the classrooms at MCC, UM-Flint and Kettering University. In our lifetimes, we have seen the academic doors swing open to invite those underrepresented populations into our academic environments. Today, as but one example, MCC’s student body is comprised of roughly 60 percent female, 19 percent African American. We have created many successful programs to draw and retain those students. Their alumni database is now in the thousands. There are professionals throughout the world who proudly say that MCC provided the educational foundation for their success. It is gratifying to know that the doors are finally open and that so many are now able to walk through them and obtain the knowledge and training they need to be viable citizens in an ever changing world.

But, in truth, I am troubled as well. While we have made important advancements in providing educational opportunities, we have so much further to go in meeting the community needs for advanced education. In a city with a majority African American population, our student body is far from reflecting the demographics of our community. The truth is, if socioeconomically challenged individuals – many who are African American or Hispanic - are not taking classes at MCC, they are likely not taking classes at all.

Further, MCC is located in the most segregated city in Michigan; the ninth most segregated in the nation. To ignore that fact is to close our eyes to a hideous flaw in the very fabric of everything MCC does in this community. The efforts of the MCC Board of Trustees to date have shown that they are sensitive if not concerned about this very thing.

I firmly believe that MCC and the other academic institutions should very publicly take a stand against the Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. I believe their leadership in this area will resonate throughout the community and beyond. I applaud President Mary Sue Coleman of The University of Michigan in her continued vocalizations about the impact the initiative will have at that world class institution. Her message is loud and clear – she will do everything she can to provide a diverse learning environment, to prepare UM students with real life situations of interacting with people from every nation and color.

I believe we should do the same. With projections indicating that the initiative will pass, therefore banning affirmative action efforts in Michigan, now is the time to voice our concerns. If the proposal passes, it will close doors in every public college and university in the state. It would close the door to programs that encourage young women to study science, math, engineering and business, not just at MCC, but throughout the state. It would close the door to programs that encourage underrepresented minority students to seek the highest possible academic achievements. And it would close the door to resources, including many forms of financial aid for college, to these same groups—women and minorities alike.

We must continue to provide the means of a truly diverse institution and prepare our students for life beyond the classroom. I firmly believe a diverse student body is essential to a robust and successful education. Our academic institutions must continue to do its part in providing American leaders who are prepared to guide us through our increasingly diverse and global future.

I will close with this: Within a 2½ mile radius are four prominent educational institutions including MCC, with enrollments in excess of 20,000 full and part-time students. Flint has the opportunity to redefine itself as a center of excellence in higher education. We cannot stand by and allow the doors of opportunity to swing shut on our citizenry. To my knowledge, no college has officially vocalized the certain negative impact of the proposal.

I urge every person associated with every academic institution to consider such a stance on behalf of our respective student bodies and on behalf of our community. We are sorely in need of your leadership in promoting the strength and necessity of a truly diverse student body and worldclass work force.

Let's do it!

This is my favorite story of the week, if not the month! As I look outside my window at the first snow covering the rooftops around me, I have the added delight of coming across an absolutely wonderful story:
"i-Pod flashmobbers dance in their hundreds at station

Hundreds of people descended on Liverpool Street station for the biggest ever turnout for the latest internet craze - mobile clubbing.

Armed with MP3 players loaded with favourite tracks the "clubbers" arrived on the concourse just after 7pm last night. Students, business people and office workers danced in silence as they listened to their iPods among commuters listening to announcements about late trains.

Details of the time and venue were sent by email. The event is similar to the flash mobbing movement pioneered in New York which involved large numbers of people gathering to conduct bizarre activities.

One commuter said: "It was entertaining if strange to see all these people gyrating to their own beat. It was the Soul Train arriving at platform one."

Does it get any better than this??? Wonder if we could get this happening in Flinttown??

BTW, visibility due to the snow, is greatly impaired!

What a great day!

Remembering my old man neighbor...

John Hallman died. I always referred to him as "my old man neighbor." And he was such a great neighbor. He lived across the street from me, alone, when I was alone. We frequently kept each other company despite the many, many years between us. When I heard a mouse in my house, I called John, regardless of the time of day or night. He'd make his way across the street, smirking the whole time at the young single girl who was afraid of a little bitty mouse.

Somehow, I think he loved playing the hero. He'd get that thing, and dispose of it, turning to leave without much more to say beyond his forced muttering. When he'd be half way across the street, I'd yell after him, "What time you go to bed anyway - just in case." He wave me off without missing a step.

The few times I decided to sun privately in my yard, John would suddenly be there, pulling up a chair to join me - well, sort of - he always kept on his gray pants and red flannel shirt, regardless of the time of year. While he obviously didn't care much for the sun, it soon became clear that he cared a great deal for me.

And we chatted about life, my visitors he kept track of amazingly well; his life and choice to remain single despite his longing for one woman years ago. He just never found the time to pursue something more.

I remember one of our chats from the lawn chairs, a heartfelt time when he described the first 50 years of his life as an alcoholic. He started drinking when he was young = and continued on the bottle for most of his adult years. He and his brother shared the road as truckers, frequently traveling the highways and biways together. One early morning, as the sun began to rise, he looked in his rearview mirror to see his brother's rig explode into a ball of fire.

His words that afternoon stopped suddenly.

After a long pause, he said that since that tragic day, he never had another drink. He kept his copy of the 12 steps close to his easy chair, within reach of most of his activities in those days.

He said he liked life sober so much more than being drunk. He had more money to buy nice things, like shiny plum-colored Buick he polished every single morning, long before I arose for the day. He had a warm home, good food, nice clothes. He was sober and grateful - despite being alone.

After moving and marrying and having kids, there were many, many days I thought of John and our lazy days in the sun. Though he swore like a sailor, I wanted my kids to know him, to see past his gruff exterior to the gentle hero I knew him to be. I took them to his place and they stared at his huff, having never witnessed such a sight. They kept watching him, then me, wondering how I could laugh and smile at the old grumpy guy who could barely move from that old dusty easy chair.

I saw his 12 step book that day. It was well worn with a beatup black leather cover. Looking around his place, there was nothing more symbolic and meaningful to his life than the frayed=edged book and thin, semi torn pages. I summoned the courage to suggest that if and when he should die, could he leave the book to me, as a membrance of his life.

********

We went looking for John today, not knowing the exact time I last saw him. It has been years since I received his annual Christmas amd birthday card. So much had happened since 9/11 - the death of my Dad, David's Mom, his Grandparents. The fog of life - when was it exactly when I took the kids to meet him? As we drove slowly by his place, the tall uncut grass was enough for me to know he couldn't live there anymore. Even on his stiffest, worst feeling days, John would mow his lawn, even if it took all day. The front blinds were disheveled, doors hanging open on his shed. I turned away with a chill.

We asked at the office - the help had never heard of him, but she knew his place was abandoned.

After dropping me off, with a sense of uncertain sadness, David phoned to say he found John's death certificate. My old man neighbor died Nov. 11. 2002 - in the midst of the fog of my own life, I had missed the end of another.

I will never forget John. I just wonder what happened to that well-worn book, sitting next to his easy chair...

Want to feel really old???

Members of Beloit College's class of 2010, entering college this fall, were mostly born in 1988. For them: Billy Carter, Lucille Ball, Gilda Radner, Billy Martin, Andy Gibb, and Secretariat have always been dead.

Ouch! When I saw the headline announcing the mindset list for those entering college this fall, my heart raced because I always look forward to reading the results AND because I knew I would feel older, very older. I have copied them below, because, well, misery loves company.

Let me know what you think. Maybe we can meet over an early senior citizen discount dinner to discuss your favorites...

1. The Soviet Union has never existed and therefore is about as scary
as the student union.
2. They have known only two presidents.
3. For most of their lives, major U.S. airlines have been bankrupt.
4. Manuel Noriega has always been in jail in the U.S.
5. They have grown up getting lost in "big boxes."
6. There has always been only one Germany.
7. They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up"
on a cash register.
8. They are wireless, yet always connected.
9. A stained blue dress is as famous to their generation as a
third-rate burglary was to their parents'.
10. Thanks to pervasive headphones in the back seat, parents have
always been able to speak freely in the front.
11. A coffee has always taken longer to make than a milkshake.
12. Smoking has never been permitted on U.S. airlines.
13. Faux fur has always been a necessary element of style.
14. The Moral Majority has never needed an organization.
15. They have never had to distinguish between the St. Louis Cardinals
baseball and football teams.
16. DNA fingerprinting has always been admissible evidence in court.
17. They grew up pushing their own miniature shopping carts in
the supermarket.
18. They grew up with and have outgrown faxing as a means
of communication.
19. "Google" has always been a verb.
20. Text messaging is their email.
21. Milli Vanilli has never had anything to say.
22. Mr. Rogers, not Walter Cronkite, has always been the most
trusted man in America.
23. Bar codes have always been on everything, from library cards
and snail mail to retail items.
24. Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
25. Phantom of the Opera has always been on Broadway.
26. "Boogers" candy has always been a favorite for grossing out parents.
27. There has never been a "skyhook" in the NBA.
28. Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
29. Computerized player pianos have always been tinkling in the lobby.
30. Non-denominational mega-churches have always been the fastest
growing religious organizations in the U.S.
31. They grew up in mini-vans.
32. Reality shows have always been on television.
33. They have no idea why we needed to ask "...can we all get along?"
34. They have always known that "In the criminal justice system the
people have been represented by two separate yet equally
important groups."
35. Young women's fashions have never been concerned with where
the waist is.
36. They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
37. Brides have always worn white for a first, second, or third wedding.
38. Being techno-savvy has always been inversely proportional to age.
39. "So" as in "Sooooo New York," has always been a drawn-out
adjective modifying a proper noun, which in turn modifies
something else
40. Affluent troubled teens in Southern California have always been
the subjects of television series.
41. They have always been able to watch wars and revolutions live
on television.
42. Ken Burns has always been producing very long documentaries on PBS.
43. They are not aware that "flock of seagulls hair" has nothing to
do with birds flying into it.
44. Retin-A has always made America look less wrinkled.
45. Green tea has always been marketed for health purposes.
46. Public school officials have always had the right to censor
school newspapers.
47. Small white holiday lights have always been in style.
48. Most of them never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
49. They have always been searching for "Waldo."
50. The really rich have regularly expressed exuberance with
outlandish birthday parties.
51. Michael Moore has always been showing up uninvited.
52. They never played the game of state license plates in the car.
53. They have always preferred going out in groups as opposed to dating.
54. There have always been live organ donors.
55. They have always had access to their own credit cards.
56. They have never put their money in a "Savings & Loan."
57. Sara Lee has always made underwear.
58. Bad behavior has always been getting captured on amateur videos.
59. Disneyland has always been in Europe and Asia.
60. They never saw Bernard Shaw on CNN.
61. Beach volleyball has always been a recognized sport.
62. Acura, Lexus, and Infiniti have always been luxury cars of choice.
63. Television stations have never concluded the broadcast day with
the national anthem.
64. LoJack transmitters have always been finding lost cars.
65. Diane Sawyer has always been live in Prime Time.
66. Dolphin-free canned tuna has always been on sale.
67. Disposable contact lenses have always been available.
68. "Outing" has always been a threat.
69. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss has always been the
perfect graduation gift.
70. They have always "dissed" what they don't like.
71. The U.S. has always been studying global warming to confirm
its existence.
72. Richard M. Daley has always been the Mayor of Chicago.
73. They grew up with virtual pets to feed, water, and play games
with, lest they die.
74. Ringo Starr has always been clean and sober.
75. Professional athletes have always competed in the Olympics.

Going Home

2:25 pm – LaGuardia

They just took my anti-bacterial hand cleaner and Shari’s toothpaste and Aveda foot cream. I feel so much safer – especially since Shari had no idea I swiped her stuff! The evidence is gone. Truth be told, I think the cats put her stuff in my bags. I know I didn’t. Those cats ended up taking several of my items (Shari warned me when I arrived they might). Funny thing is, I always found the items returned in my stuff. So they are nice thieves. Once they were done playing with my contact case and my head scarf, they put them away. You can’t beat that for manners.

So I am here in the airport, shoes off – no I am not in the security line! I am avoiding contact with the blisters on the bottom of my feet. I earned every one of them over the last four and a half days. Call it the start of an added regime to my diet – which, btw, I blew on TWO pieces of Red Velvet cake and a dream bar. I had to compare bakeries – so my pusher said as she returned yesterday with my bagel and lox and the second piece from the renowned Magnolia Bakery. I had caved the night before in utter exhaustion – where else on earth can one purchase a piece of Red Velvet cake??? After filling me with sugar and carbs, Shari had the utter nerve to suggest I keep walking blisters on my feet since we got such a good start over the last couple of days. Yeah, sure.

Among the things I don’t understand about New York: why are there so many shoe stores offering straps and high heels? How in the world do all those women who pass me on the street in spiked heels keep from transitioning to Birks or Nikes – hey, wait a minute – perhaps that is the key! We were wearing the wrong kind of shoes!! If I had been in spiked heels, I might be better off right now.

Hard to imagine, especially after seeing woman after woman walking on the bricks of the meat packing district last night. Reminded me of, “don’t step on a crack, you’ll break your mother’s back.”

We schlepped over to Lotus at about 11:30 pm, hoping to be among the elite (in our Birks and Nikes!) Shari made her way past the coifed and asked the doorman about the dress code and cover. With perfect droll, he responded that there was a dress code and that the cover is determined at the door. She had to see the “door person.” So PC! However, his icy cold glare pretty much gave a clue to the cost for us – there isn’t enough money in New York to cover our presence. After all, Paris might be in there! If she was, we missed her.

We schlepped over to a couple other places – Pastise of Sex and the City fame included. No dice. No longer serving food.

Schlep, schlep, schlep … We finally found a place that would take our money, next to the renowned club pm. Best darn Italian food I have ever had! Green ravioli with mushrooms. Melted in my mouth as we watched two yellow Ferraris float by and the line grow longer and longer. Russell Simmons passed by with a friend. Right in front of our sidewalk table! More of a gawker than we, a tall dude with a tail rushed over to tell him he watches his brother’s show all the time. We found out this morning that his brother is part of Run DMC. Whatever.

Please understand, by that time, we had our fill of star sightings. Afterall, we were in the audience of the world premiere of Usher as Billy Flynn! Main floor, last row, so we saw every single star who snuck in or out. In fact, we teamed with those beside us and in front of us for an all out search of the faces. The Italian couple next to us were absolutely lost as I tried explaining who Felicia Rashad is – Bill Cosby? Head shakes no. Cosby Show? No. Any English at all? No. The German women in front of us gave us the latest gossip on who is doing what on the German gossip pages. Despite their objections, we spotted Penelope Cruz to our left, talking on the phone despite the repeated requests to turn phones off. Gail King did not look gay at all, I might add. She was there, also to our left. I could have reached out and touched Ben Vareen – he was wearing a suit with red converse tennis shoes! Our kind of schlepping!! And there was Rosie Perez, Mario (we didn’t know him but the other teammates did). I think we counted 10 stars in all, just feet from our seats…

Afterwards, we stood among the throngs of people (throngs = a lot) waiting for Usher to appear as well as the others. Cameras were absolutely everywhere. When he appeared, people shrieked! Police were everywhere. Cars couldn’t move. It was truly a New York red carpet premiere – and we were there. Shari and I, there, in the crowd, craning our necks, standing on things to be able to peer over the persons in front of us. My Mom’s digital camera in hand. In our Birks and in our Nikes!

Just thinking about it hurts my feet!

A few other closing thoughts: the cats and I never did become friends even after I cleaned their litter box, played with them with their toys, laid on floor hoping to appear vulnerable and safe. Nada. Didn’t happen. I miss Kit Kat!

And, I miss David, and Colton and Isabella. I miss home. It will be good to be able to wake up now from this unforgettable dream.

10 am The West Village!

I don't close the door on the shower door! There isn't one! And the "spray" comes down from the ceiling! I think the floor is granite! And this place has one of those Stephenson sinks, a modernistic bowl with these fancy water tuners. Both beds are this wonderfully hip low-to-the-floor mattresses. Shari's has a great light wood frame that matches the wood throughout the room. And did I mention the large screened mini Mac that is complete with wireless keyboard and mouse. Outside the windows in front of me is sunshine (it has been here everyday) and two fabulous trees. Shari said they are Magnolias and that when she was here last they were in full bloom: white and pink. How absolutely beautiful it must be!

The star map, as if we looked at one, says Holly Hunter lives just down the block and David Blaine could be looking in at me right now! He lives behind us ... somewhere ... if the map can be trusted. History also states that Kahil Graban died in the hospital just steps away.

And did I mention that I fell in front of the woman from Sex and the City? What is her name? Sarah Jessica Parker? Ah yes, strolling down a street in Soho, I look behind me (looking for Kelly Ripa actually, because I heard she lived near there) and spot Sara. I whisper to Shari that she is behind us, then, as I trip over the curb, I decide I am going to try and play it off to Shari that I did it on purpose just to see how humane Sara is - aren't you wondering what Sara did?? Well, she actually crossed the street, took her glasses off and asked if I was ok - very humane - I like that. I reassured her and Shari that I was fine when I realized that I don't think it was Sara afterall - of if it was, she looks a bit older without all the glam (which maybe she does, how old would she be anyway?) As she passed by, asking another time if I was ok, I whispered to Shari that I did it on purpose. She believed me for a minute and thought I was very cagey in my sacrifices to meet a star. God only knows what I would have done if it was David Cassidy or Bobby Sherman.

But I now have seen several stars - Biff, recognize the name?? He is David Letterman's assistant! Yes I know, very impressive. I didn't fall. But I felt like I was going to when WE WERE ON LETTERMAN!!!! Well, ok, we weren't guests on Letterman, but we were audience members! Main floor, about 7 rows from the stage!! What a dream is that?? It was absolutely fantastic. Dave is awesome, very friendly with the audience - and the stage is truly far more impressive than the cameras reveal.

After the show, like the rest of the groupies, we stood in line to see Maggie Gyllenhaal (I didn't know how to spell her name! In fact, I didn't really know her. I didn't fall!) come out from the show.

Soooooo, I have to say, I refuse to wake up from this dream! Tonight, we are going to the opening of Usher does Chicago - I better take some body armor, eh??

10:12 pm NYC

I swear Shari is trying to kill me!

Well, let me start over. After all, we are staying in a place that is beyond imagination. Wonderful brownstone, recently remodeled to look EXACTLY like all those magazines. Beautifully restored hardwood floors, brick northern wall, contemporary
minimalistic interiors. I just had to sit there in the cab when he pulled up to this place - and I had not even seen the inside!. History along this street alone is remarkable - lots of writers - Around the World in 80 Days was composed just a few doors down.

So why am I watching the Flavor of Love on this plasma tv?????

And there are two cats - that continue to elude us despite our gentle cooing. DANG cats! I swear we will be friends by the time I wake up from this dream...

I wish I wouldn't have told you about the Flavor of Love! It's kind of how I felt last night when we were at this improv, front seats, and the comic asked me where I was from. Michigan, I said with a big smile, hoping, just hoping that she would be content with the answer. She was - the next comic wasn't. He was from Lansing! He made a few comments about Michael Moore and his movies and then continues with his act. THEN, the next one was from Michigan also - Birmingham to be more specific. She asked that we not judge her because of her hometown. I asked that she do the same. She and I knew what we meant. Shari did too. I think it flew past the others.

Don't judge me.

I was thinking of how we judge - how I judge - today after watching The History Boys, a Tony Award winning show that depicted from the stage many things including judging, I guess. Funny how much homosexuality comes up anymore, or is less judgmental to say gay? Today's show certainly had it as an undercurrent theme. What show doesn't any more? The awareness is of gays in our society has blossomed. I'm not sure there is a living soul who is not more aware than ever of gays, lesbians and bisexuals. Not that it matters that much because there is still sooo much homophobia out there - well not here - but out there. It's as easy to find as well, gays.

Except in Flint. Our bluecollar town wouldn't do well with The History Boys - not that it doesn't exist in Flint - we just don't talk about it. We turn our gaze in another direction - say, to Blacks or whites, to what we don't have, to crime, to job security. The truth is, despite our averted eyes, we all probably know someone who is gay, someone who is out or in. We just don't talk about it.

In New York - in Hollywood - they talk about it. They write about it. They perform it. Gays acts straight in our favorite shows. Straights even act gay.

I am beginning to think that we are making too big of a deal about all of this gayness. Today's show seem to imply that perhaps its more about sex than homosexuality. Men who "experience" a man are simply seeking to experience another form of sex. It's not a preference as much as another experience. I watched an episode of Cops one night where a man "experienced" the drain of a pool! On national television, he thought it might feel good to experience a pool!

I hate to sound so cynical, or judgmental. However, I must say, I don't hear too often of females seeking the same experiences. Today's show seemed to reflect that as well. Is there a time in an adolescent male where such diversions are ok and free from the judgment of others? Do such desires truly pass?

I just tried to pet the cat again. She ran. Do you think she is judging me????

So I am expecially exhausted tonight and my feet hurt, because as I said earlier, Shari is trying to kill me. She is older, but she is in far better shape. The truth is in the pudding. We walked and we walked and we walked - and then walked some more. We went to the Magnolia Bakery where I passed on Red Velvet Cake (dang diet), we hit the meatpacking district where we lunched on French cuisine, we subwayed to Times Square, and checked out the webcam on Christopher Street. I wish someone could have seen us! And then we walked some more. If I had a dime for every time Shari said, "It's right up here," and we walked well beyond. What is up with that??? Does she never get tired???

We finally came home well after 9. I worry about tomorrow.

On second thought, I want to turn over and keep dreaming this unbelievable dream...

1:58 pm Detroit

In the airport, Detroit Metro, heading for NYC, with lots of warnings over the pa system. No liquids. Be on look out for suspicious activities. I threw in my Dad’s money clip before I left today – put it in my right pocket. It got snagged at the gate. I forgot about the blade attached. It has to be the size of a fingernail clipper. Fortunately, David and the kids were standing by to see if I would make it through the gate. The attendant gave it to him…

I think this is the first time I have flown by myself. I look around and I see plenty of others on the computer like me. They must have paid the 8 bucks for the web. I refused. I thought these hot spots in the airport were free??? Actually, I am glad. Gives me a chance to start this log. I haven’t done it in awhile and I have really wanted to, especially since I recently read about some bloggers who helped promote the new “snake” movie and in return received free Treo phones! Can you believe it? What a great time to be alive!

On the way here, Sharon called David to see if I would be interested in flying to Vegas with Grandma Nan Sept. 15. I cannot imagine another trip. This is my second without the kids and I’m already feeling bad. A few more days away seems over whelming.

Anyway, NYC… We are house sitting in the village – two cats and wireless internet. I found a site last night that maps star sightings. I’m already feeling lucky. I think if I see any, I will post on the map. I also tried downloading the NYC webcam on the computer at home so David and the kids could see me. But it appears to only be a widget. Sooooo, I will simply have to check out the site to see where I peer from time to time.

The webcam has caused a modern day dilemma in our world of moral defining actions. Shortly after downloading it, I sat down to check out the city, zeroed in on some folks in a part. Within two minutes, one of those I was surreptitiously observing turned to his friends and dropped his draws!! He mooned them! I couldn’t believe it!

The following day, I thought I would try my luck again, seeing if I could tap into another interesting observance (if you call a full moon interesting). Dang, it was raining. Traffic was sparse – moon park was empty.

Hey, the guy behind me just yelled! He is with his parents and they keep trying to keep him calm. He looks as if he might be a little touched, but excuse me, we are in the Orange Zone. Does this count as suspicious behavior?? Is he traveling on my plane???

Anyway, Moon Park was empty – so I thought until I noticed a small part of someone sitting on a park bench. I could just barely see the top of his head bobbing – IN THE RAIN?? He didn’t have an umbrella, rain coat or galoshes! Was he ok? I zeroed in on the sceen. Suddenly, the guy falls over on the ground, on his back, IN THE RAIN!! He just lays there!!!!

Now, the guy behind me is rocking and humming. OH BROTHER! He better not be sitting next to me!!

So the guy is laying there on his back in the park! I am in Flint Michigan watching from a webcam in my dry living room. Was he dead?? I kept watching, now on my feet, wondering if I could even possibly call 9-1-1 for something I observed hundreds of miles away. Can I? Does anybody know?

I keep watching – I see some movement – and wish I could suddenly call over some loud speaker to the people who are passing him by on the other side of the fence. Hey, we have a guy down over there. Someone. Anyone!!

He suddenly rolls over and staggers to his feet. He then stumbles to the street. Where is he going? Surely he is drugged or drunk. Someone – a friend? – stops him and they seem to engage in a lively conversation. Dead guys arms are waving – the other guy is laughing – until Dead Guy heads off the curb and into NEW YORK TRAFFIC!! His friend lunges to save him from getting struck by a car – a yellow cab no doubt.

Suddenly, I felt kind of icky. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me watch this scene unraveling before me. Nope, not even the kids are in the house. Who could imagine all this was happening… Who on earth could I tell??

Strangely, my connection failed at that point. I jumped to reconnect but by the time I got back online, Dead Guy and his friend were gone. I looked around for an ambulance. None. I searched for his staggering self. Nothing.

Thank God.

Soooo anyway, I am going to go to that location while in NYC. I am curious how it looks on the other side of the camera. I wish I could look up and wave to my friends and family. I think I will wave anyway, because who knows who might be watching – from their living room in Flint, Michigan.

Glen Arbor - August something

Just got back from walking the town while Shari and Diane beach. I would have joined them if I could. Despite a glamorous spf 50 yesterday, the sun got the best of me. Whose skin do I have anyway??

So I did the town without them - well some of it anyway. I thought I would keep something to do with them ... if they ever get back. I can't remember what time they said they would return. I am on vacation afterall, who listens that closely??

We watched the sunset last night on Lake Michigan as the moon rose behind us. It truly was a picturesque moment that many, many artists have attempted to replicate and photograph. None of the attempts can even come close. As the sun dropped behind the water I wondered if one day it would never rise again. It all seems so predictable, so definite. I can't help but think that one day even that will surprise us, we will wonder what happened, why and what will we do without the predictability. I suspect we will also discover the extent of our dependence on something we so naturally take for granted...

They closed the gas station in this town! I find that shocking considering the number of people who visit here on any given week in the summer. We had to drive to the next town over just to fill up - and the attendant was a little frazzled with the long line of cars and people impatiently waiting to pay. After a bit of a skirmish with a customer long past patient, the attendent defended his position by noting that he had three cars drive off without paying just that day. It felt like the urban jungle I was trying to escape...

Can't help but think that it was a glimpse into the future as well, however, with the oil prices, gas prices. How many stations will be forced to fold up shop? How many more people will fill up and leave because they can't afford $40 worth of gasoline?

I truly am not so far from home afterall.

What is going on in America??

I walked into the office this morning to find our secretary up and dancing to Car Wash! You know, that old Rose Royce song from 1976!

You might not ever get rich, ha
Let me tell you it's better than digging a ditch
There ain't no telling who you might meet
A movie star or maybe a common thief

I can’t remember seeing Vera so happy! Her feet were moving, arms swinging. What a great way to start the day…

All that in the midst of the chaos! What is going on in this world anyway? It seems that every day things get crazier and crazier…

I keep an ongoing list in my head of things I want to discuss with God, not in a Neale Donald Walsch kind of way, but in a pull-up-a-cloud and stay kind of way. I say that because I know I probably will never get a straight answer down here. These are the latest additions to my list.

• Taylor Hicks – How is it that this guy has never even been in the bottom three?? How is it that Paris Bennett, who is by far the best vocalist of the season if not the entire history of the show, is likely going to go home next week after three weeks in the bottom three? Who is doing the voting here? The same folks who cast their support for George??

What is going on in America??

• Speaking of George (President, not the former singer from Wham), he’s looking more and more like his father, isn’t he (I've never seen George Michael's Dad)? I caught myself doing a doubletake the other day with a picture posted on the web. The News is reporting that W is at an all time low on approval ratings. He’s shaking up his Cabinet – and what in the world is Tony Snow thinking?? He gets clearance from his oncologist to serve two years max in a hissing caldron of hate. It’s clear he has been at odds publicly before he joined on – just wait until things really get going! Can’t imagine trying to spin the next couple of years! I’m betting Snow’s resulting book is going to be the best book every written from the inside!

• Why isn’t there more outrage over Exxon Mobil Corp., the world's largest oil company, reporting the fifth highest quarterly profit for any public company in history?

Why, God, why?

The average retail price of gasoline in the U.S. is now $2.91 a gallon, or 68 cents higher than a year ago. Like this is any surprise - In January, Exxon posted the highest quarterly profits of any public company in history: $10.71 billion for the fourth quarter of 2005 and $36.13 billion for the full year. The company said its average sale price for crude oil in the U.S. during the quarter was $55.99 per barrel compared to $42.70 a year ago. It sold natural gas in the U.S., on average, for $8.31 compared to $6.18 during the same period one year ago. Placed in perspective, Exxon's revenue for the three-month period was still greater than the annual gross domestic product of some major oil producing nations, including the United Arab Emirates ($74.67 billion) and Kuwait ($55.31 billion), according to statistics maintained by the Central Intelligence Agency. Exxon also said it returned $7 billion to shareholders through dividends of $2 billion and buying back $5 billion worth of shares.

ConocoPhillips, the No. 3 U.S. oil company, isn’t far behind. On Wednesday they reported their quarterly profits surged 13 percent, as oil prices continued their march upward.

And even after declaring in the State of the Union that Americans need to combat their addiction to oil, Bush has failed to do the obvious: order a meaningful raise in automobile fuel-efficiency standards. That's the most effective way to reduce the growing demand for fuel over the long term, which is the main reason oil prices are so high in the first place.

Instead of knee-jerk witch hunts into alleged price-gouging, we need to be developing long-term, viable plans.

Why, God, why are we not doing that??

Instead, we will use ink and paper to write about the Press Corps on Air Force One being forced to watch Fox News instead of CNN. Not that it isn’t interesting copy. It feeds our assumptions, anyway, doesn’t it? Why wouldn’t the White House insist on watching Fox News??

Don Williamson – oops, I mean, Patsy Lou Williamson, has announced her candidacy for the State Senate. I mean, Don announced it – well, he may not have announced it, but he responded to all the questions during her interview. She didn’t say a peep. I think he’ll win – oops, I mean, I think SHE will win. There are plenty of folks who don’t take DW seriously in this town. They oughta. His influence is growing, like his sprawling car dealership on Linden Road. Oops, I mean her sprawling car dealership on Linden Road.

What happened to Chris Machniak, anyway? After years of sniffing out corruption (and finding none) at City Hall, he gets a new, tamer beat. Doesn’t make sense to little ole me…

What about that God? What is that all about anyway???

At the car wash
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Talkin' about the car wash, girl
Come on, ya'all and sing it for me
(Car wash)
Oooh oooh oooh
(Car wash, girl)

Come on everyone, stand up and DANCE!!

The ache of a mother's heart

Lemony Snicket often warns his (or her??) readers to stop reading The Series of Unfortunate Events. In fact, even the website rewords the warning: “If I were you, I would immediately turn your computer off rather than view any of the dreadful images, read any of the wretched information … within this website.” I love that! The first time my daughter read me the warning in the book, I found it immediately creative, and refreshingly so.

I am feeling – well, a little Snicket-y today. If I were you…

In truth, I am numb. A friend has described a heartbreak that is so unfortunate, so disappointing, so beyond words or understanding. Her daughter, 20, was diagnosed with an advanced stage of Liver Disease (Cirrhosis) some years ago. She knew then that the disease would eventually take her life.

She said she remembers the family gathering together, the tears, the prayers – the unfathomable fear – upon learning of the diagnosis. As Christians who grew up praying for miracles and healings and all kinds of signs and wonders, she was surprisingly unsure of God’s plans for her recovery.

And, of course, why her, after all those years of serving Him?

Joanne spent little time questioning and a great deal of time trying to understand everything she could of the disease. She dropped most of her personal interests while picking up the weight of watching someone she loved so dearly die. So often, in the middle of the night, she would wake in tears knowing that her time with her daughter was short.

Her daughter, to the marvel of many, proceeded to live life seemingly unaffected by the diagnosis. While her body underwent tremendous change, she quietly dealt with the necessary adjustments. When she was tired, she would sleep. When she was too sick to attend a service, she would miss. Everyone who knew her understood.

Joanne ached inside. She began to yearn for more meaningful moments with her daughter. She often cleared her schedule to visit, to cook, to sit with her in quiet moments. She learned to ask more meaningful questions, hoping her daughter would trust her enough to share her thoughts, to be honest enough to admit her fears. Most nights, her daughter said nothing. On rare occasions, she found her daughter crying, but when prodded by her mother to open up about what’s on her heart, her daughter gave her nothing.

Joanne could not help but wonder why her daughter, while facing death, refused to speak to her, to talk with her. Despite her best efforts, she began feeling hurt and confused, especially when her daughter would readily and warmly respond to the questions and concerns of others. When people would drop by to see her, she would quickly tell the details of her plight, respond to their questions, be kind in return of their kindness. Joanne could painfully see that her daughter was not incapable of sharing her heart; her daughter simply did not want to share it with her.

Joanne’s pain of losing her daughter to death was compounded with the realization that any meaningful time with her daughter ended when she was diagnosed. And those times were far too few. In truth, Joanne wondered if her daughter ever really did like her - or share her heart or her thoughts in a warm and meaningful way. She recalled many failed attempts, meals where her daughter would come alive with other adult guests, ask interested questions while giving detailed, interesting responses to their queries - the same unanswered queries posed by her earlier in the day.

Joanne and her daughter recently attended a retreat together. During one of the sessions, not surprisingly, her daughter became the focus. Her daughter triumphantly shared her testimony of what God was doing her heart and in her life. Her daughter smiled as she talked of the outpouring of love and support of others. She shed a tear as she touched upon her fears.

Her daughter never really looked towards her that morning. In truth, Joanne said it seemed as if she wasn’t even there.

Afterward, many of the people approached Joanne and spoke of her daughter’s courage, of her obvious love for God. "You must be so proud."

Joanne overwhelming pain prevented her from saying anything. Instead, she went to her car in the parking lot and cried.

What Joanne is experiencing is anything but Tuesdays with Morrie.

I can’t help but wonder about Joanne's daughter, someone I have met and heard speak on numerous ocassions about the critical importance of family values. I have observed her warmly embrace near strangers all the while ignoring the presence of the very one who gave her life and would surely take her death in her place if only given the chance. How tragic to know, to see, others get her best, and she who loves her most get so little.

I am reminded of the saying, "It is not flesh and blood, but the heart which makes us fathers and sons." Sadly, in this case it proves not to be so. A social worker once told me that contrary to what Mitch Albom or Hollywood portrays, people die the way they live.

In this heartrending series of unfortuate events, perhaps that is the most wretched truth of all...

Lech Walesa speaks in Flint

As I listened intently to the Noble Peace Prize Winner’s intonation translated by woman who travels with Poland’s President, I thought of many things. Translators do that to me as I so often wonder what is lost or added to the comments of a keynote speaker or even a sign in Chinatown. I once heard a story of a city – Toronto, New York? – where signs were purchased with the understanding they would say what the officials requested. It wasn’t until after they were posted that the officials discovered the words were offensive. Trust. It’s such a funny thing.

Translations. I find myself stumbling on the translations that abound all around us as we each listen and read and interpret the message of the day. Why is it that Bibles now have rows upon rows of translations, each promising the true interpretation of what Jesus said, what God meant? It’s mind boggling. The decisions of who is right and who is wrong is too overwhelming even on the simple things. I fear we have abdicated our freedom of choice to those we feel we can trust to do the heavy thinking for us. Some let James Dobson decide for them. Some let George Bush. Some even let Rush Limbaugh (before rehab!) and the former host of the outrageous non-credible Current Affair Bill O’Reilly.

We listen to their intonations. What about those prophets speaks wisdom? What speaks wisdom to you, to me?

Lech Walesa spoke about wisdom last night, downplaying his credibility - refreshingly. In fact, his humility was alluring, made me want to lean in and listen a little more closely. He spoke of the Pope and his unheralded role in the end of the true evil empire of Communism (his reference, not mine). He told of a time when the Pope traveled to his homeland of Poland and spoke with the people, not telling them what to do, how to act – and certainly not joining any conspiracy or movement for change. Lech said, “but the power of his words made each of us reflect in our own hearts.” His humble words sparked an intangible, galvanizing spirit that ultimately brought down a wall of division – not through force, through convincing oratory. Against all odds, he quietly and profoundly changed the future for us all.

And that is my point today. Reflection. It seems as a society we no longer value reflection, that inward review of our hearts and intentions, the supposed application of wisdom prior to action. We listen quickly, fill in our own blanks, interpret intonations. We’ve already decided what is good (or have been told) and what is bad. And we are on the lookout for all that is bad. We feel it is our right, our responsibility – to whom, I don’t know exactly.

I looked around at the crowd last night, hundreds sitting quietly as Lech spoke through his interpreter. Some held banners of Polish pride. Others wore union jackets or suits purchased with UAW dues. The Poles likely left satisfied. I wonder about the others, especially now with so many losing their bankrupt Delphi jobs. They likely came to hear the former electrician who climbed on a bulldozer and delivered a stirring appeal to Solidarity. Give us something to sustain us in the days and weeks to come…

As one who has traveled the world, speaks regularly with leaders from every nation, Lech admonished those who would listen to accept the new era that is just now beginning. Instead of drawing borders defining countries, we must begin to live together in our global village where everyone can undoubtedly survive. By sharing our wealth, our food, with those who have none, we make reliable friends and neighbors. By helping to train and provide equitable work for those in impoverished countries, there would be no reason to send our industry there, at the expensive of our own workers and economy. Teach them to fish.

As for the automotive industry, unions, he described a time when three sides would determine the outcomes – union representation, owners of companies and administrators, if you will, that would help make the system work for all.
He reminded us that the United States has proven that people of different cultures, religions can get along. In this country, Arabs and Jewish people can be friends and neighbors, individuals from every nation are represented in our cities and town, in our hospitals, in our schools.

So as we war against the extremists in other countries, how do we battle the extremists in our own, those who insist on drawing lines, who are bothered by those who don’t speak English, those who are willing to work the menial jobs we won’t (illegal immigrants), those who don’t want to help the poor because they are Muslim, Hispanic or African American? How can we as a nation move forward if we continue to decide along monetary lines rather than truly moral ones?

Lech admonished us to choose good leaders. It truly is up to us how this country will survive in the future.

There was something about him that I trusted last night, his intonations seemed wise, the translation full of hope. If nothing else, it caused me to reflect - something I hope to relearn in weeks and months to come.