Who knew?

Most of the basic material a writer works with is acquired before the age of fifteen.

- Willa Cather

Isabella's interview on TV5

Feuding on Facebook

I just finished reading a private message from now a former Facebook friend who cease and desisted me due to an apparent feud he had over political views posted on his wall and the wall of at least one other. He was thoughtful in his shut-off notice, citing the all-too-common position we all find ourselves in when getting requests for friendship from folks we don't really know, have rarely if ever spoken with, and may not recognize when passed on the street. Do we confirm or ignore?

We don't want to be rude.
Confirm or ignore??
We truly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Confirm or ignore??? C'mon, make a decision!
How can we ignore a request for friendship??

It's really all about high school, isn't it? I mean this whole idea of accepting or ignoring friendship, of counting how many friends another person might have listed on their profile page, of fishing their list of 5 - 300 friends to catch someone not listed on ours.

I'm not dissin' my high school days, mind you. LOVED them - no, I mean, I LOVED THEM and anyone associated with them. I am quite confident that heaven for me will include that large and wonderful cast of characters walking the high path and the low path between the two Grand Blanc High Schools.

But I digress...

My initial entry into Facebook came with great enthusiasm. I suddenly found people I have not seen nor heard from in many, many years. I found family members. I found former colleagues. I found parents of my kids' friends. I found old crushes. I found my kids' teachers. I told people Facebook was like a great big party where you could dip into conversations at any time on the homepage or slide off into a more private conversation from your profile page. Shoot you could have completely private conversations on the balcony of Facebook by sending a direct message from the inbox!!

Nothing but love, and more love... Love, love, love ... What a great world... Thank God for Facebook. Mark Zuckerberg, YOU ROCK!

What I failed to consider while hangin' 10 on the love wave was that people are people, even in this wonderful love bubble of Facebook. After all the virtual huggin, poking and looking at family photos, we settle back into the unfinished business that sometimes separated us in the first place. Family members ask questions of those that may have unknowingly hurt them years ago. Old high school friends finally tell how ignored they felt as others passed them in the halls. Former crushes of days gone by become dangerous flames that can threaten the stablility of our day-to-day lives.

And that is just the unfinished business!

What of politics and our passionate support of issues that sometimes spark just as passionate responses from others attending the party on the Home page?? What of issues of faith, and religion and morality? Yes, we have been taught to avoid discussions of such in public; should the same rules of civility apply to this sub-reality of fb? (I think the power users simply use fb for Facebook!)

I am beginning to realize that perhaps Mark Zuckerberg has not so much created a utopian cyberworld as much as a cybermirror of life and the souls of those of us who use it. Of course there is going to be hurt feelings. Of course there is going to be anger and disrespect. Of course there is going to be friends deleting friends over something someone posted on someone else's wall.

Of course.

So why do I feel so hopeless for mankind?

In the fb world where we very actively pick and choose to accept or ignore our friends, where we publicly engage in discussions for those accepted friends to see and read...where we can literally surround ourselves with handchosen friends and family ...

In the same fb world where we can literally ignore those who might hold opposing or troubling views that are different from our own...

there remains fighting and bitterness and division...

We needn't wonder of the wars being fought in other countries...

Dark as it may seem, I suspect the problem won't go away with a more judicious use of the ignore button on fb.

We. Just. Can't. Get. Rid. Of. Everyone. Who. Disagrees.

DANG IT!!
Believe me, I've tried!

But we can - but I can - become more tolerant of those who don't agree with my "obvious wisdom." (joke, it's funny, laugh. Please laugh.) Why can't we let Crazy Aunt Sue be crazy, act crazy, say crazy, write crazy without risk of being cease and desisted? Why must we shut off the voices that are different from our own? So what if it gets a little personal? Who doesn't like a little spice with their Chimichanga? (def: dish typically prepared by filling a flour tortilla with a wide range of ingredients, most commonly beans, rice, cheese, ground beef.)

It was the spice that made me love high school. It's the spice that makes me still love living in Flint, MI. It's the spice of my 10 friends left on fb that keeps me coming back to the party, dippin into conversations where I learn more about my friends and family, to be sure,

...but also about life.

Party on, Wayne!

What's it really like growing up in Flint, MI?

My daughter has started her own blog. She's 12 and spends most of her time writing anyway - no, seriously. We have three or four computers in this house and in total, she probably has 100 unfinished stories - and that is not counting the many, many spirals she has filled with her thoughts, her opinions, her fan fiction, her teen romance marvels. It's incredible. I keep pushing for her to get even ONE of them finished so we can sell it. There is little doubt in my mind that she will earn FAR more money as a writer than her mother ever did.

Her blog, "Growing up in Flint, Michigan," will likely feature many thoughts very normal for a soon-to-be teen in any city in America. I suspect she'll mention Glee and the brothers Jonas; she'll likely yap about school though keeping location unidentifiable.

And friends.

And love.

And maybe that will be the most telling thing about her blog, that kids growing up in Flint aren't necessarily experiencing the shootings, the crime, the drugs - the fear that too many adults have come to accept after hearing the news or the gossip at the Rite Aid down the street.

Not that she or any of her friends are unaware of the dangers. They can't help but hear the sirens throughout the night, learn of the double shootings just 10 miles from their homes. My daughter doesn't exactly live in the war zone of some of her friends; some of her friends undoubtedly hear gun shots regularly at night. In fact, it's fairly certain that some have suffered some form of emotional and/or physical abuse in homes where families are losing medical insurance, jobs and homes. At her young age, she already has learned of two others her age who have taken their own lives.

Living in Flint, Michigan, ain't your Father's Oldsmobile!

I guess that's why I think she has something to say that is quite likely different from what Michael Moore has said, as an adult, drawing from the memories of when he was 12 instead of being 12. I don't fault his memory, mind you, I just think the potential for a new fresh perspective from the mind(s) of our youth could be telling, if not interesting, if not helpful ... if not fun.

I'm looking forward to reading her thoughts - and helping her spend her money if she ever finishes even one of those blasted stories eating up space on my computer!

Just who is Sam Riddle anyway?

I have Sam Riddle’s phone number stored in my cell phone. I just double-checked after reading the Free Press story about him being arraigned on multiple felony charges in connection with a corruption probe in Detroit.

I have never met anyone like Sam Riddle. But I did meet him.

In fact, I talked to him at least once on his cell phone.

There is no doubt that Flint has a cast of characters, especially in political circles. It isn’t long before even a novice can name the players and the wanna-be players. Don’t ever forget, Flint’s a small town. Anyone who is someone knows everyone. Kevin Bacon’s six degrees is too many in this made-for-tv reality.

And Sam Riddle is in the cast, frequently sauntering in as if he was the lead actor.

Apparently, Sam grew up in Flint, though no one could ever tell me where he lived or what school Sam attended. When I asked why he left Flint, no one knew. No one knew where he moved, where he worked, if he worked, if he was married, if he had any kids. They didn’t know how he made enough money to make regular returns to his alleged hometown, though someone did tell me once they thought he lived in Vegas. I then wondered if he was a professional gambler!

After every single conversation I would have about Sam Riddle, I always had more questions than answers – and I always seemed to be the only one who was interested, or curious, or perhaps stupid enough to care. Everyone else just seemed to accept his presence as an actor in our reality show.

I have to tell you, there is something unmistakably alluring about Sam Riddle, and maybe the interest was fed because of the air of mystery that seemed to surround him. He is tall, good looking, certain to draw attention whenever he entered a room. People always listened to him as he spoke, not because he is necessarily charismatic, but he exuded a confidence, a relaxed style that seemed to put people at ease.

One day, I just stopped asking questions about Sam Riddle.

I was surprised when the always-logical Sam joined the always illogical Williamson camp; horribly disappointed as well. It was then that I considered that Sam’s Flint appearances may have more to do with the color green than warm feelings for his hometown. Regardless, knowing Sam, his political acumen undoubtedly led Williamson to victory.

Sam Riddle apparently is the leading character of many different reality shows, a fete unto itself. The man obviously gets around – and not in an old beat up Buick either. His associations and influence goes well beyond the now cancelled Flint series. Yes, he has close ties with state reps and the Detroit City Council, if not a direct link to Kwame.

There is no doubt that Sam Riddle knows a lot about a lot of people. He won’t go down without a fight, without dragging others down with him.

I’m starting to think the Detroit show may soon turn into a blockbuster movie with none other than Sam Riddle starring in the leading role.

I still don’t know who Sam Riddle is!

But I have his cell number … maybe I should call him and ask…

Dear Julia Cameron; first entry

I read a book – The Artist’s Way, The Writer’s Way (or was it the Way Artist Write?). I didn’t get very far frankly. Yes, well, I read past the first chapter anyway … Julia Cameron wrote about the importance of journaling … Every morning, before I get out of bed, I should write at least a page of free association – whatever is on my mind. I remember committing myself to the exercise but coming up short since I had picked a not-so-great-time to begin. Try as I might, waking up before the cries of the cribbed beings in the next room thwarted
Every.
Single.
Effort.

Today, no cribbed beings and I have some time. The Mother’s Way is giving way to at least that first chapter of Cameron’s admonishments … Well, sorta… I’ve been up for hours. And I am not hand writing in a journal as she suggests. I have to tell you, I can no longer hand-write anything of meaning. Sit me down with a pencil and a clean paper and I … go blank. Even when I push through, I get distracted by the way the pen loops my l’s or end up disliking where I dotted my i. I cannot get past the way the individual letters or words or paragraphs actually look on paper. So forget about what I might have wanted to write (Please note: you should read that last sentence with that Godfatherish accent “Forget about it…) It is ONLY when I sit down with a computer that I can honestly put any thought in sentence form. (No distractions with the letters since they all look exactly the same!) My J-school profs would be proud … as would all my editors from every writing job I have ever had (Though they wouldn’t like me ending that sentence that way!) For years I have merely pounded it out on the computer screen … me, the keys, the thoughts – well, you get the picture.

So Julia, I apologize. I am not the best student, but at least I am trying…

I feel funny doing this ... I just write anything?? ... Hollister is crying. I should let him in. (Lame-O!) Hollister is my dog. His actual name is Samwise Hollister aka Snoop Dog. No, I am not joking. While I am a little embarrassed about the long disjointed name, my embarrassment is quickly replaced with good feelings that everyone in the family got to name him something. David wanted Samwise from the movie Ring Lords (that’s funny!). Isi wanted Hollister, for obvious reasons. Wait, Colt didn’t get a say?? I think DAVID picked the last name also - Snoop Dog though the dog’s rap sounds more like a whine (haha, another funny!!) And, I’m just now realizing, I had no say either. I just wanted everyone to be happy…

Happy … *pauses to feel the breeze, look at the lake*


Happy… Why is that italics coming on??? See, I get distracted by the letters!!! DANG!


Happy … Nothing… I got nothing…

Why is the floorlamp on the table? Oh yes, unfinished puzzle. Wonder if Colt has hurt himself yet at camp? He will … or at least he likely will… He may be a bit more careful or aware now that he was in that ATV accident in Pennsylvania. I knew that ATV accident was going to happen. I hated letting him ride that thing alone. Of course, the last day, I begin to let my guard down, every so slightly, and the kid barrel rolls it! I heard the crash, the screaming, saw him rolling on the ground, ran down to find him completely FREAKED OUT. He was stammering that the wheel rolled over his head. I wasn’t sure I could believe him SINCE HE WASN'T DEAD! Looking closely, the red marks across his face did look a bit like those knobby tires. It was the worst moment of my life … it still scares the be-Jesus out of me to think about it… (What is be-Jesus??) I remember looking in his eyes wondering, honestly wondering, if he would soon be dying of internal injuries or that if he slept, he would never wake up … like that actress who died after falling while skiing on the bunny hill or Billie Mays who hit his head during a rough landing! Neither of those two had an ATV roll over their head!!! (I guess since then they discovered that Billie had a heart attack?) I told Colt to get up – I needed to see if he could, desperately needed to see if he could. He did. And he walked with a limp – no dizziness – to the cabin. David’s brother John is a doctor. He checked him over – and rechecked him over – and said he would be fine. I sat on the couch all night with Colton. I got up in the middle of the night to make sure he was breathing. I would never want to live without him… I hope he is ok now… Should I go look??

No, he’s ok. I bet he is fine…

I’m hungry … what time is it? Do I trust the kitchen clock? It has said 11:20 all day… No, of course not, I trust the computer clock. I love computers. I am so glad I live in this century.

I hate ATVs though.

* Ah, what a beautiful breeze *

Amish people aren’t suppose to have computers, at least I don’t think so. I saw a lot of Amish in Lancaster last week. Fascinating in many ways: they must be continually hot in the summer with their long clothes. Everything is covered. I was thinking that the young girls had it especially bad since they were always in dresses. But then I thought of the boys in the dark pants and long sleeved shirts and black hats...

I don’t think I would make a good Amish ...

We went to an Amish bookstore. The lamps were gas-powered. We stopped at a bake sale. The little girls wouldn’t speak to me – very shy. Food was good. Simple. Maybe the best simple Suzy-Q dessert I've ever had.

David was thinking we should take an Amish buggy ride. After looking around a bit, I decided I would rather stay with our mode of transportation. I couldn't get past the idea that if we crawled up in that box, without windows, and was trotted around Amishville, the Amishers would stand around gawking at the good fortune of the family who caught the not-so-bright "progressives" who paid a handsome fee to be driven around in their buggy. I couldn't shake the image of us being paraded around like circus animals - caged monkeys or the world's tallest white dude, or the fat lady who looks like she has been stuck in the car all day.

I said I think the Amish aren’t suppose to have computers because I saw many interesting things I think they weren't suppose to have. I don't want to be a narc, but one Amish dude was using a cell phone, and it looked like a nice one. As a buggy turned the corner next to us, rather fast I might add, the Amish boy driver was swatting a Monster drink.

I'm just saying!

I’m thinking they have computers stashed. Nice, bright shiny 17-inch MacBook Pros. And that they download songs from iTunes. Better yet, they hit Limewire! (What would an Amish listen to?? Gangster’s Paradise??? Fergie's Glamorous?

(... Ok, not so funny.)

What is funny … funny…?

Camp kids are jumping on the blob, this big air-filled mattress on the lake. I saw Isi out there earlier. Wonder if this is Colton’s group … I hope he doesn’t do it. I don't think he will ... He might ...

Good Lord, I have to go check and see…

I don't think I like journaling...

This blog post is not about Michael...

"Do You Remember
Those Special Times
They'll Just Go On And On
In The Back Of My Mind"
-Michael Jackson

Ok, straight up, this post isn't about Michael ... Though, given the last few days, everything seems to come back to Michael.

This post is about life, my life - and fears, and death and life, and the passage of time. In a strange discordant of time, I left Flint on Thursday having valiantly outrun one or two storms that pushed through town. Within 15 minutes on the road, I was flippin on my headlights and hitting maximum wipe with the windshield blades. All that avoiding and I still ran smack dab into the mother of all storms.

I was heading to Diane's birthday weekend, celebrating 50 years, as hard it is to believe. I met Diane when I was 16, maybe 17, making her and Shari my longest, closest friends. On the way, I was stopping to pick up Shari, with barely enough time to make it to the first event. However, Mama Storm had other plans. The black clouds and accompanied downpour followed me the whole darn way.

I don't like storms. I don't like driving in storms. But this storm seemed different. I wasn't afraid. Rather than concern myself with something I could do nothing about - the high winds, the flash floods sweeping over US23 - I thought a lot about the friends I was about to see, our histories, the so-many laughs, and the too-many cries. Despite the rain, the thunder, the lightening, the flash floods, the vehicles stopped all along the road - I was at peace, a strange warm peace that seemed full of reflection and anticipation of truly good things to come.

For the record, I always get a little melancholy at the end of a school year. It seems I'm always pushing to get there - as if it is some glorious finish line - but once I cross over, I quickly turn around and see all the wonderful things now behind me. So much seems to happen on the path between September and June, between toddlers and teenagers, between 1959 and 2009...

And, frankly, at each bend in the journey, I look back and fear the ride will never, ever be that great again...

But I digress...

Shari says she "lives in the moment" and resents it when I check my txt messages, especially when I am driving. For the record, I do not think it is dangerous to check your txt messages while stopped for a train. She does apparently, and grabbed my phone. She looked at it and queried, "What is this anyway? CNNBRK?" And the phone goes dark. I ask her to give it to me and I will tell her - she says no and hides it. (As if THAT isn't dangerous considering my "attachment" to my phone!) In my mind, of course, I know I received a tweet about some national breaking news. As a worried mother whose two children were left in Flint, I immediately ponder if it could possibly involve my only daughter or my only son.

When Shari steps out of the car to check into the hotel, I grab the phone to discover the breaking news was Michael Jackson's cardiac arrest. At the time, it was unclear if he had passed. Great! Now I had to tell Shari who just happens to be the most loyal MJ fan you can imagine. She stuck with him through every allegation, through every marriage, through every even-stranger story. Now I had to tell her that he might not be sticking with us...

By the time we arrived at Diane's, the breaking news had gone from bad to worse. We rushed into her house, barely hugging the birthday girl, her two beautiful daughters and/or husband. We flipped on CNN and sat glued to it for the next hour (or was it two?). At one point, I glanced up at my longest, closest friend and apologized. It wasn't exactly the way I had planned to acknowledge her 50th birthday, especially since Jackson was 50.

Gulp.

The passing of Michael Jackson has raised many different emotions in me. It's difficult to watch the clips of him as a youngster, full of life, growing to be a man with throngs of people following his every move. His fall. The allegations. I remember living through all of that. We all did. I sat glued to MTV time and time again to watch "Thriller." A boyfriend teased me all the time with "Gotta be Startin Something." My cousin and I loved to sing about the rat named "Ben." I remember watching "Do you remember the time" and being fascinated.

While Farrah Fawcett may be upset with the timing of Michael's death, Diane has showed no signs of disappointment in having to share the spotlight with a same-aged icon who happened to die on her birthday weekend. For me, when all is said and done, I think his passing added even more meaning to Diane's celebration. We are reminded our lives pass quickly - so quickly. That life is truly a gift. That when we think the world has turned against us - like Michael most likely believed - they probably haven't.

I hope he is able to see that he made his comeback after all...

Ok, so I guess this post was about Michael...

"Those Sweet Memories
Will Always Be Dear To Me"

What Frances taught me...

I keep thinking about Frances. Frances Bean.

Her Dad, Kurt Cobain, committed suicide 15 years ago (April 5th to be exact). While I was not a huge or even semi-huge Nirvana fan, I remember the waves of grief that shot across the media in the wake of his death. When I first heard the news, I immediately thought of the rowdy Young Life kid who use to sing his songs during Club with an unmistakable admiration. Cobain touched lives and captured imaginations like few others.

It was that cultlike following that really drew me to look more closely at Cobain. Here was a man at the peak of his international success, the founder and frontman of a group with nothing but potential. At 27 years old, he takes a shotgun and kills himself in a room above the garage of his Seattle home. Many believe, paradoxically, that he was unable to reconcile his inner demons and fear of "compromise" with Nirvana's massive success. He played music, people responded oh-so-favorably, yet it drove him to depression, drugs, and ultimately, suicide.

He left behind a larger-than-life train-wreck-waiting-to-happen wife, Courtney Love. I don't mean for my description to sound disrespectful - I meant it in the nicest way. In fact, I am truly intrigued by Cobain's widow who herself was thrown into the unbelievable glare of Cobain's success and resulting grief. Would she ever have achieved such notoriety without him? Probably not, except for her role in producing the only living embodiment of Kurt.

Frances Bean. Frances Bean Cobain.

How does a kid grow up successfully in the wake of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love?

Frances Bean told the world last year, "I'm Not My Parents."

Then 15, she was absolutely beautiful and headlining as the star of Evita, Grease and Beauty and the Beast – all for a fashion spread in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar.

Proud mom was quoted as saying it wasn't unusual that the only offspring of an anti-establishment-grunge-guru would be doing musicals. "She's a gay man trapped in a woman's body, like me," Love said.

And that explains so much ABOUT Love... I suspect very little about Frances Bean.

Frances Bean said while she understands people's fascination with her, it's "creepy ... I haven't done anything ... People need to wait until I've done something valid with my life."

Her old-soul reasonableness likely comes from her paternal grandmother, who lives in Olympia, Washington. Frances Bean called her "the most constant thing I've ever had. I'm really lucky because I've been able to go places and meet people you can only dream of, but she's probably the person I respect most out of anybody in the world."

Ultimately, Frances Bean inspires me, reminds me that something truly beautiful can survive chaos. She reminds me that today as I begin my own journey, without my own father, in an economy that jolts my reality on a daily basis, life can turn out good with the support of "constant" family and friends. Perhaps it's one of the greatest Easter stories of all time.

"And I forget
Just what it takes
And yet I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard
Its hard to find
Oh well, whatever, nevermind"

"And they all came tumbling down..."

Lifted this from my sister-in-law - I thought it is too funny not to share. Merry Christmas!!

**

You no sooner left, I sat on my couch and our HUGE (9 foot, 300 pound) Christmas tree fell over, narrowly missing me! With our family history of trees falling down (many over the years!), I would have thought the "someone" would have thought to anchor the tree to the stair railing!!!!!!!!!!

We had 24 hours of a beautiful tree and now for the next 2 1/2 wks we get to stare at a tree with strings of lights that are out of alignment, flung up ornaments and a lot fewer ornaments. Our family memory which was supposed to be the collection of ornaments for when the kids leave home is gone, they may get 5 ornaments out of their time spent at home, but the memory will always be......trees falling down!

Personality disorders for everyone!

One-in-five young adults has a personality disorder -- as if we didn't have enough to worry about!

News out of Chicago yesterday reported that almost one-in-five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life, and even more abuse alcohol or drugs.

Good Lord!

The study, described as the most extensive of its kind, was based on face-to-face interviews with more than 5,000 19-25 year olds. The disorders include problems such as obsessive or compulsive tendencies and anti-social behavior that can sometimes lead to violence. The study also found that fewer than 25 percent of college-aged Americans with mental problems get treatment.

Counting substance abuse, the study found that nearly half of young people surveyed have some sort of psychiatric condition, including students and non-students.

Personality disorders were the second most common problem behind drug or alcohol abuse as a single category. The disorders include obsessive, anti-social and paranoid behaviors that are not mere quirks but actually interfere with ordinary functioning.

I know I'm not in the age range, but I automatically started counting those around me - one, two, three ... Someone here is on the verge of something!

And that explains a lot! I mean, these one-in-fivers, do these numbers change with age? I'm thinking no, based upon my vast research. In fact, I'm recalling that time of life as a bit more "ahhh" than today's titch more "huh?" I'm thinking the great philosopers Mick Jagger and Keith Richards understood, "What a drag it is getting old." When they penned, "She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper, And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day" - those brothers understood that life gets crazy, man!

And for me, perhaps that is the point not mentioned in the research. Growing up, I never once doubted that the adults around me were faultless - that every decision made was wise. It wasn't until I reached the age of this reported study group that I realized that lots of adults were posers, running for the shelter, and hookin up at their own Peyton Places (aging myself, I know!). It was disillusioning, sure, but we weren't yet replicating the insanity.

I think the age of insanity has slid on down - and why wouldn't it? As adults, we haven't protected our young people from the realities of life the way our parents use to. It's hard to do so with 24-hour news and internet and wars and parents losing homes and jobs. Why is it surprising considering the instability of a world that should be rated G or PG but has forcibly been given an R due to adult themes, including intense or persistent violence?

I worry the number of personality disordered would be significantly higher for those of us in the 25 and above age group.

Which would explain a lot.

Read the headlines today - one, two, three ...

Look around - one, two, three..

Is it you or is it me?

"Doctor please, some more of these ... Outside the door, she took four more... Life's just much too hard today, I hear ev'ry mother say... "

Obama as the anti-Christ?

It's truly unbelievable how many conversations I have had with conservatives who seriously question, if not believe, that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. The first time came in my own car when a passenger suggested that it was so. My head spun around (not like Linda Blair's head in the Exorcist-which would be something an anti-Christ could do no doubt) and I had to look to see if the person was joking. She wasn't! This fairly intelligent person went on to explain her position - at least I think she did. Honestly, I quit listening.

Most recently, the topic reared its ugly head (again, I think "reared its ugly head" is a reference to something anti-Christ) after I commented that I thought Obama was considering a way to bail out the automakers (I cannot figure out why the first bail out didn't seem to be a move of the anti-Christ and this one is!). The person went on to say that he thought Obama's promise of "peace and safety" was a signal that he could quite possibly be the one. He suggested that at no other time in history has there been such universal "worship" of a political figure.

Worship??

What about Ronald Wilson Reagan (six letters in each of his names??!)? In fact, this "theory" was so widely distributed, by bitter Democrats no doubt, that there is LOTS of stuff on the web about it (check this out if you are interested - http://home.mcn.net/~willfree/coincidence/reagan.htm). What about Adolph Hitler? Surely he was far more anti-Christ than Barack Obama. Frankly, I think it's fairly easy to come up with more diabolical leaders than the new President-elect.


What a strange time we live in when Christians, both conservative or liberal, begin judging the characteristics of God and Jesus himself as anti-Christ. Why would it be that after five years of a war where thousands of people have died needlessly, a politician who brings hope (a characteristic of Christ) wants to end the war (also a characteristic of a peace-loving Christ) would be seen as anti-Christ? How is it that we can be so divided on someone who wants to do a better job of taking care of the poor (a mandate of Christ or socialism?) while others embrace leaders who want to reward the rich (described by Christ himself as the most difficult group to enter the gates of heaven)? Why is it a family-loving man of one wife (again, supposed Christ values) can be seen as anti-Christ while an admitted adulterer (anti-Christ no doubt) can be hailed as the leader of an evangelical movement (someone told me he repented, by the way).

I am not trying to make a case for the Obamessiah (a term conservatives likely created). I do not believe he is a perfect man who will deliver this world from all harm. And, I'm not trying to be antagonistic (though I play one on tv). In fact, I am attempting to make a serious statement about the way "Christians" are judging what/who is anti-Christ today. I think it is dangerous. What are we teaching our children about Christian values and the person of Jesus Christ? When we call something good bad and bad good (peace/war, poor/rich) what foundation is being laid for the future?

At the risk of sounding right-wingy, the Bible says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." "Seek peace and pursue it." 1 Corinthians 13:13 says, "Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

(I know I am losing some of you - I can see your eyes gloss over! For those of you who want to skip the sermon, please jump to bottom paragraph ; )

The whole socialism thing - man, it's hard for me not to see that line of thinking as soooo anti-Christ. Again, the Bible says, (Luke 12:33) "Sell your possessions and give to charity; make yourselves purses which do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near, nor moth destroys." (Luke 3:11) And [John the Baptist] would answer and say to them, "Let the man with two tunics share with him who has none, and let him who has food do likewise." (Mt. 5:42) Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

Finally, (if you are not yet asleep - you can still skip to the bottom!!), the word "antichrist" is only found in four passages in the Bible, apparently where the conservatives are selectively pulling their authority these days. All were penned by Apostle John within the books of first and second John. (1 John 2:18-19) "Children, it is the last hour; and just as you heard that antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have arisen; from this we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, in order that it might be shown that they all are not of us."
(1 John 2:22-23) "Who is the liar but the one who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, the one who denies the Father and the Son. Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father; the one who confesses the Son has the Father also."
(1 John 4:2-3) "By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God; and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; and this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world."
(2 John 1:7) "For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not acknowledge Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is the deceiver and the antichrist."

Barack Obama has not denied the Father and the Son. In fact, he has stated publicly many, many times that he is a Christian. In fact, I have enclosed a link to an article in Christianity Today (is that publication considered the elite liberal media?) where he talks about his devout faith at length: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/januaryweb-only/104-32.0.html I invite those who are STILL reading to read it also, but especially one of my Facebook "friends" who indicated that she was praying for Obama's conversion - conversion to what??

Sermon skippers can pick up the commentary here:
Good Lord! All of this is so confusing. This I know: All of us - you and me, and her and him - portray something to this world. Our words reflect our thoughts. Our actions should reflect our words which mirror our thoughts. May each of us portray the character of Christ and His principles in a world that needs his example more than ever.

(And for those who read the sermon, may we protect ourselves from becoming one of the many antiChrists that have already arisen.)

How many more, Mr. McBush?

Good Lord! The numbers are making me crazy!

A total of 4,496 military men have died in the Iraq War; 4,182 of them are from the US. Another 160 felt conditions were so bad that they took their own lives. Some 43,528 civilians in Iraq are now dead as a result of the war; 8,712 have died in the Iraq military.

As for the other war, in Afghanistan, 988 soldiers have died; 611 are members of our US military.

As of 11 am today, roughly $562,416,852,000 dollars have been spent on both wars and that number is growing by the second.

I thought of those 56,000 people this morning, all who have died in this five-and-a-half year invasion, all under the premise that we must be kept safe from the terrorists that attacked the US on 9/1/01 as well as those that were allegedly stockpiling weapons of mass destruction. (In all, 19 hijackers + 2,974 people died in the 9/11/01 attacks bringing our number of dead up to nearly 60,000.)

The reason for reflecting on these lost lives is rooted in a news story I read on the growing number of suicides due to our now historic financial crisis.

I am angry. Why isn't everyone angry? We all should be more angry than we have ever been before. Of course, we simply can't agree on the culprit, which only makes me more angry.

Some people, loved ones even, say they think John McCain will do a better job at protecting the United States in these times of conflict. His military history, which dates back to his father and grandfather by the way, somehow makes folks feel more comfortable.

His history makes me less comfortable. This man has spent a lifetime in the military, using his military experience as a foundation to his role as a Senator. He is proud of his maverick maneuvering, his ability to bully his way past what his colleagues on both sides of the aisle have agreed to for the good of the people. When a decision will be required - and it will be required - in the wars that have already cost us as many people as the population of Greenville, South Carolina, John McCain will not back down. He'll proudly tell you that. He's ready to fight and continue fighting. When another "enemy" rears its ugly head - and they will - John McCain will go after them as well, despite our strained troops that are already tired and needing some relief. McCain will rattle his saber and call for more of our young to protect us from the axis of evil. If necessary, and what you and I consider necessary is undoubtedly not the same, John McCain will not just be bold enough to respond to the call at 3 am; he'll do it will glee, with a vengeance for which he has waited since his days in North Vietnam. I can see it in his eyes. I can hear it in the tone of his voice, in his gaffes where he calls his supporters fellow prisoners. He defends the Bush wars, the Bush Doctrine, the lack of presidential judgement in forever changing the reputation of our country.

John McCain has said too little of our financial crisis other than conveniently portraying himself as one who can fly to Washington and solve it.

And he didn't.

And neither did his mentor. Why can't Bush, in the last pitiful days of his presidency, just go away? Instead, he keeps pushing for a financial solution that should scare the be-Jesus out of all of us, let alone a Republican Party that until now has claimed big government is part of the evil axis, a form of socialism from which we all mus be protected.

McBush's solution? Print more money. New money is being printed at record rates, insuring that the bucks you currently have in your pocket will buy less and less everyday.

And what about the out-of-work money manager in California, who lost a fortune, and then wiped out his family in a murder-suicide? Or the 90-year-old Ohio widow who shot herself in the chest as authorities arrived to evict her from the modest house she called home for 38 years?

In Massachusetts, a housewife who had hidden her family's mounting financial crisis from her husband sent a note to the mortgage company warning: "By the time you foreclose on my house, I'll be dead."

Across the country, authorities are becoming concerned that the nation's financial woes could turn increasingly violent, and they are urging people to get help. In some places, mental-health hot lines are jammed, counseling services are in high demand and domestic-violence shelters are full.

"A lot of people are telling us they are losing everything. They're losing their homes, they're going into foreclosure, they've lost their jobs," said Virginia Cervasio, executive director of a suicide resource enter in southwest Florida's Lee County.

But tragedies keep mounting, according the report I read this morning.

Dr. Edward Charlesworth, a clinical psychologist in Houston, said the current crisis is breeding a sense of chronic anxiety among people who feel helpless and panic-stricken, as well as angry that their government has let them down.

More than 4 million Americans were at least one month behind on their mortgages at the end of June, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association.

A record 500,000 had entered the foreclosure process. And that trend is expected to continue through next year, despite the current programs from the government and the lending industry to refinance delinquent homeowners into more affordable loans.

Enough!

This must end.

McBush is no McChange.

God help us all...

Do Pastors truly validate Presidential competency?

So let me get this straight... In the court of public opinion, I can be judged competent or incompetent by what the Pastor or Guest Speaker says while speaking at the church where I currently have my membership? Seriously? Is this for real??

This has so many ramifications in an already historical political drama. I tried ignoring it some months ago after jotting down some thoughts following Round One with Rev. Wright.

Then Sarah - gosh darn her - brought it up again - and again - which is truly remarkable considering the videos of her being circulated on YouTube. The Church were she was raised has provided a pulpit to at least one unusual Guest Speaker, to say the least. Through his thick accent, he proudly describes his own encounters with witchdoctors and casting out demons. Other taped presentations show her professing her belief that God wants her to pursue a pipeline and other initiatives, likely hers alone but she needed a little credibility from the Guy Upstairs in order to sell it. I'm not even mentioning her church connection to the infamous Jesus Camp, the focus of a documentary several years ago that trained young kids to be Jesus Warriors with some horribly unorthodox methods.

And the Pastor of Obama's church is scary??

Rev. Wright, one of the most highly regarded African American pastors in America, speaks out about something he believes and suddenly the Democratic Candidate is under scrutiny for similar beliefs - I guess that is the implication. Who doesn't agree that "The government gives them (African Americans) the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America?' "

That must not be the controversial part - because we know that it is true. It must be the remaining part of the 2003 sermon (it's 2008, Sarah supporters): "No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

Maybe he shouldn't have said damn in church - wait, the Bible does talk about damning people to hell. In fact I have been in plenty of services where preachers of all stripes and denominations talk of God's wrath (is that a whiter version of damnation?) due to any number of "sins" be it abortion, homosexuality or yes, stern warnings against voting for a "baby killer." In fact, judging from the tapes, I would be willing to bet a hundo that Palin's church has espoused similar damnation.

I was in a service once where the Guest Speaker encouraged hundreds of people to turn off their minds, not unlike a hypnotist attempting to get another message past the gates of normal thought processing. And though I wasn't in attendance at one particularly "interesting" service, I was told that God had replaced the silver fillings of some folks with gold.

Good Lord, could any of the members of that church ever run for President?? Wait, in fact, I understand that Palin's church had a similar experience in her congregation. Let's check her teeth!

When I heard that the preaching of Obama's Pastor had caused such an uproar, it was hard not to reflect on what has been said from the pulpit at the church where I attend. I have to believe many of us felt the same way. I trust that everyone reflected on all the services, even those dating back to 2003, and came up feeling good about what is being taught during every service. (Those who now have gold teeth instead of silver probably feel even better than the rest of us!)

And therein lies the rub for me (I love that saying!): If we didn't feel proud of what was said on that one Sunday in 2005, what are we going to do when the reporter shoves the microphone in our face asking our thoughts? Are we going to risk hurting the pastor who married us, the nursery workers who tended to our babies?

I personally like the way Obama handled it. "I don't think my church is actually particularly controversial." He said. I suspect Palin would say the same. Rev. Wright/the Witchdoctor Chaser "is like an old uncle who says things I don't always agree with."

Let's not forget, however, that he did end up leaving that church - AFTER a guest speaker came and ridiculed Sen. Hillary Clinton from the Trinity pulpit. Obama said he then had to make what he refers to as a sad decision; he and his family withdrew their membership at Chicago's Trinity United Church of Christ.

Obama cut the cord to the church where he found Jesus Christ, where he was married, where his daughters were baptized--and whose pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, gave him the title of his best-seller, The Audacity of Hope. "Our relations with Trinity have been strained by the divisive statements of Reverend Wright, which sharply conflict with our own views."

This is the kicker for me: "But it's clear that now that I am a candidate for president, every time something is said in the church by any one associated with Trinity, including guest pastors, the remarks will be imputed to me even if they totally conflict with my long held views, statements and principles," Obama said.

Should we truly be judged by our Pastors? What does it say about John McCain that he had publicly endorsed the ministries of John Hagee and Rod Parsley? Does it say anything at all?

I think it says very little. People make their choices to attend a particular church for all kinds of reasons. Maybe John McCain needed Hagee's congregation to support his run. Perhaps Obama had a loyalty to the people with whom he worships every Sunday. Maybe Sarah ... Well, I'll let it go at that.

I will add, however, that unlike Obama, Palin has not yet cut ties with the Witchdoctor Chaser or her church leadership. It's with that in mind that I think Palin should simply quit imputing Obama unless she wants to be imputed upon.

John John Bad Bad

I cared the other day about John Edwards...
Today, I probably care a little less - and I wish I didn't keep checking the headlines to find the latest update about him and this situation. After all, there are more important "cares" to attend to.

Like this escalating war in Georgia. Thank God W. is in China, distracted by all the flags and female athletes. I swear, I have never EVER seen this guy more happy - and more in his element. He should be head of the Olympic Committee instead of the Country...

I think John John has more to say say. Family and friends are not bound by the same agreements that Hunter is - I think they may tell us more of the story. Shoot, when you have old boyfriends (Jay McInerney) vouching for you, I think there is more milk to be spilt. If John John ain't the Daddy, that was one friendly campaign family -- and Hunter didn't spend much time alone. My fingers say that nine months of pregnancy puts her smack dab in summer loving of '07. Campaign '06 to summer loving '07... And what about those phone calls and visits to someone allegedly kaput... I'm just saying ...

Sing, Johnny, sing...

On my mind...

Don't care...... that Suri Cruise is still drinking from a bottle! She's 2 and 1/2! Why in the world would anyone care?? As if potential speech and dental problems are the only challenges facing the child of the Scientology Puh-Bah. Her daddy thinks we came from aliens!

DO care ...
... that Flint police foolishly bragged about a decline in violent crime one day and the next four days there are four homicides! Strangely, Super Chief-y still claims the number of homicides in the city is still less than last year at this time. Didn't we learn we don't brag when there is still time on the clock?? Shut up and play! Gotta back up the smack, fellahs! Pride comes before the fall...

... that a Celebrity Chef published a potentially fatal mix-up during a magazine interview when he recommended wild henbane as a great addition to salads. The Chef said henbane, but he meant fat hen. Fat hen is a weed. Henbane extract was the poison famously poured into Hamlet's father's ear, also often called nightshade. Seems like a pretty serious mix-up. Is he a government scientist??
... Care more because I think we have some nightshade in our backyard! Do we not have a more current example - or non-fictional account actually - of the danger of Henbane? Am I on Punk'd??

... that Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick has been released on a tether after a night in jail and after facing a felony assault charge today. I think it is a shame that he is the first sitting mayor in Detroit's 307-year history to spend a night behind bars. The Dude is having a BAAAAADDDDD year. I hate to see this happen to anyone let alone an up and coming young leader. What is going to happen to Kwame?

... that John Edwards is being accused of doing a campaign worker who eventually has his kid. I have always loved John Edwards. Now, his lack of media response is threatening his role at the convention! Tell 'em John! We need you. Repeat after me, I did not have sex with that woman!

... that Racist Groups Eye Boost If Obama Elected. Former Louisiana State Rep. David Duke has said publicly, 'We Have Lost Control Of Our Country.’ I remember when the former Ku Kluxer tried convincing folks he had changed the color of his ugly spots. Duke said Obama would be a "visual aid" to the idea that whites have lost control of America. Back in June, he posted an essay on his Web site entitled, "Obama Wins Demo Nomination: A Black Flag for White America." Obama "will be a clear signal for millions of our people," Duke wrote. "Obama is a visual aid for White Americans who just don't get it yet that we have lost control of our country, and unless we get it back we are heading for complete annihilation as a people." This just in out of Pearl, Miss., "They're not exactly rooting for him, but prominent white supremacists anticipate a boost to their cause if Barack Obama becomes the first black president." A Mississippi "scholar" said, "Instead of this so-called civil rights bill, for example, that says you have to give preferences to minorities, I think the American people are going -- once they see the 'Obamanation' -- they're going to demand a tweaking of that and say, 'You have to put the majority into office.'"
... Care more because while most Americans have little or no direct contact with white supremacists, organizations such as the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center keep close tabs; the law center estimates some 200,000 people nationwide are active in such groups. That's 200,000 folks who are crazy enough to be proud of their association with supremacist groups. How many invisible members do they have?

... Finally, for the moment anyway, I ask this question: Is John McCain campaigning FOR Obama? I don't get his strategy of portraying Obama as a celebrity, comparing him to a rock star. I think it is further proof that the Old Guy doesn't get America! Dude, we love our celebrities and rock stars! Comparing him to Paris and Britney - calling him the biggest celebrity in the world? Dude, seriously, what are you thinking?? Hello ... Ronald Reagan?? Arnold Schwarzenegger? You could only dream of that much appeal!! Fire the old Dude whose creating the ads; he's a spy for Barack.
... Wait, is John McCain on Punk'd??

South Beach by the sea

So here I sit, one of four other patrons that I can see, sitting at the News Café, waiting for the sun to rise over South Beach. When I walked by yesterday, there was a line waiting for a seat – and I have the best one. Of course it is 6:41 am. Not much of a crowd at this time, but plenty of characters – one I couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t strung out on x as he ran across the street, hands in the air, uttering something I failed to understand.

The waitress just brought me my bagel and lox… It’s her first day here. She keeps watching for the sunrise also. Who can blame her? It has to be a perk of the job, right? She was born and raised on South Beach, had an ex-boyfriend who once lived there, moved here, then moved back to “some place around Detroit,” as if I have never heard that before. Everyone thinks Michigan and Detroit are synonymous. When I asked her if she ever visited, she said no and gave a fearful little shudder, “I’m too afraid.”

Clearly she didn’t sleep where I slept last night! It’s why I am here, actually. Couldn’t sleep after the police raided the room next to ours at 4:48 am! They went in and roused someone out of bed, dragged him/her down the hall and left. Only to return a few minutes later to search the room, I presume. I have it all figured out, of course, as David continues to slumber undisturbed. I hate him for that!

So get this. The waitress says she doesn’t like this playground! What? Come on, you have to be kidding! Why, I asked her, more irritated than curious. “It’s boring.” Was it rude that I laughed so loudly that every head – ok all four heads – turned and looked at the crazy “Detroit Girl?” Patiently, I asked her what could possibly be more exciting than South Beach??

After all, my husband became a star – again – in South Beach, yesterday when he gashed his foot open on some glass while chasing waves. A sign at the beach told us there was a show being filmed on the beach that day and by continuing toward the water, we were agreeing to all that such filming could entail. I immediately started looking for cameras, forgetting the fact that I was wearing a bathing suit. Baywatch, I’m not! I should have turned the other way!

Anyway, he cut his foot so badly he left a trail of blood along the beautiful sandy beach all the way over to the lifeguard station. Suddenly, cameras were all around us! “What happened?” “Did the lifeguard help you?” They even asked Colton how he felt. “I’m just glad the lifeguard could help my dad,” he said.

So the show is slated to appear on Tru-tv in five or six months. Apparently, it is a documentary or reality tv show about lifeguards. Look for our smiling faces on a tv near you.

The breeze off the ocean is wonderful this morning, by the way.

April 2, 2008

I just want to repeat an honest question

I know this preacher guy who every time he speaks I can't help but think he is telling on himself, an open air confession of his thoughts, be they pretty or not. I usually get a little squirmy, not because I am convicted, as he might hope, but because I think he's depressed and overwhelmed with life. I'm no psychologist, but I'm thinking the dude needs some help.

And who doesn't?

I heard on the comedy channel the other day George Carlin's "List of Things to Watch Out For." (http://www.totalobscurity.com/smile/carlin/carlin.html) I laughed - loudly - in part because of my own anxiety issues, but also - and mainly - because of the absurdness of it all. We are told so many things every single day. It's no wonder the preacher guy is overwhelmed!

A friend of mine received this "honest question" from an old high school friend the other day. I found it especially moving, if not symbolic of what is occurring across the nation.

Hi "Friends" (individual names replaced!!
I don't know how to go about this but to come right out and ask if I am the only one, but I guess I should preface it by giving you a little insight as to my life.

Well, since I had my heart attack in 2005, I was put on three different medications and I gained 25 pounds. I lost my sex drive, I lost much of my hair. I cry soo much over everything my heart hurts. I went through empty house syndrome when My daughter left. Its like.. It can't get worse. and then it does. My relationship with (my husband) is, like always, up and down. We made a bad financial decision during the housing boom that cost us our life savings. Now my oldest is in (another state) with the love of my life, my grand(child) and I can't go. My other two (children) are never home. I am just so sad all the time because of everything... I decided to get off my meds myself since I finally read up on them and two major side effects was rapid weight gain and the other was rapid hair loss. I hate my 40's, I don't really have friends outside of (my children). They are my life and they are all growing up and moving on.

I guess I just want to say hi! This just isn't the kind of stuff I can say to a neighbor or my mom or (my children), ya know? Nothing like old friends to help you put life in perspective. Anyways all advice is appreciated and thanks for reading and I hope you write back.
(Your Friend)

(Dear Friend),
I think honestly that you and a lot of us have been going through changes. One might say that economic changes, marital status, medical issues, children growing up, and death accompanied by pre-menopause and mid-life crisis could have something to do it (our group age 44 & 45). Together at an Anniversary Party, remember how our small group of girls uttered more than once, "Is this it? " speaking about our lives at that point. I was quite surprised listening to everyone, and since then it has been a common feeling shared by others that were not at the party. My husband, and my (child) swear that I am Menopausal, I am in denial. I just read an article recently that the age 44 was a prime time for woman to start mid life crisis, (and not what we might typically think of) but the tears, sadness, and "Is this all there is?" kind of thinking. (Friend), I think this is a stage in our lives, and probably not the best stage in our lives, but I think things are going to get better, and contentment and happiness will follow. Expectations, disappointments, hormones are probably huge factors in the way we feel.

(Friend), I know you are not in this boat alone, lots of us our experiencing some of the same things. If we could just get together, ride around, swim at (a friend's pool), maybe go dancing, and go back to the simple times. Remember we were going to be together everyday, and then my mother told us that we would all grow up, have our own lives, and we would never see each other. Who knew?

My advice, (Friend) is to take one day at time, pray or meditate spend quiet time, and try to look at all the positive and good things in your life. I have book I love "Simple Abundance" that helped me in my life about 10 years ago, and Sunday morning church always helps to see things in a more positive light.

I have been thinking about you all week.

Your Old Pal

Well, I have been thinking about her, too.

And about this article recently published by ABC News; ABC News: "Middle-Aged Misery: Why 44 Is Worst Age." Not that it is all that uplifting, frankly, but it validates the preacher guy's doom, if not the despair of my friend's friend. It reads:

"Middle age makes you miserable, so don't blame your job, your kids, your spouse, your income or lack of it, suggests an international study of 2 million people from 80 nations.

"Researchers from Great Britain and the USA analyzed data spanning more than 35 years on measures such as depression, anxiety, mental well-being, happiness and life satisfaction.

"They found that men and women in their 40s were more likely to be depressed and weren't as happy as other ages. Middle age is such a low point for well-being that it's at the bottom of a U-shaped curve that indicates greater happiness among the young and old.

"It's midlife per se," says co-author Andrew Oswald, an economist at the University of Warwick in Coventry, England. "It's something deep beyond all the controls in our equation. It's a developing midlife low. It doesn't just happen one year and go away another."

For both sexes, the probability of depression peaks around age 44.

Oswald doesn't have any concrete answers on why such a slump occurs.

"My best conjecture is that people eventually learn to quell their infeasible aspirations," he says. "They manage to get their expectations into line with what they can actually achieve."

The study by Oswald and fellow economist David Blanchflower of Dartmouth College in Hanover, N.H., being published in the journal Social Science & Medicine found the same U-shape by age for 72 of 80 countries studied.

"You can be almost certain you will follow this U-shaped curve," Oswald says. "If you are finding life tough in your 40s, maybe it's useful to know this is completely normal."

Research by Angus Deaton, a Princeton University economist, has found a similar U-shaped curve in some countries, but he says it doesn't hold true globally.

"Young people are happier in some countries, and in some countries middle-aged are happy. It depends on which country," he says. "In my data, it's true if you look some places, older people are really miserable relative to younger people. It's not U-shaped. (Happiness is) just going down."

Despite the skepticism, Oswald says the age factor appears real.

"We're correlating mental well-being with age, having factored out 100 other influences," Oswald says.

"In 2008, social science can't do better than this."

Great, right?

I am left to ponder a quote I once heard from the great philosopher Cher: "I've been 30 and I have been 40. 30 is better."

And I wanted to blame it on our economy...

Colt the news maker

Listen, Colton has been on my mind a lot lately, not just because he has been laying beside me for the last couple of days trying to recover from the flu. He keeps saying this "stuff" that I have to take a double take on, looking to see if in fact it was him who said this "stuff" or someone who does a darn good impersonation. Of course, it's not an impersonation, but it seems like it should be. I have no idea how this "stuff" lodges in his brain let alone floats out of his mouth. When I look at him in disbelief - actually I am looking deep, deep into his eyes to see if he is for real - he simply stares back at me with that "what??" kind of look. I have to just shake my head...

This morning, 4 am, he screams, "Dad" from his loftbed next door. All I can think is, "Whew, it's not me!" (I know, I am a very loving parent.) Next thing I know they both are in the bathroom, "expelling" the Egg Drop soup from earlier. David sets him up on the floor and by 4:15 is crawling back into bed. 15 minutes later, we hear, "Somebody!" I guess that brought me into the mix and I wondered if in fact David admonished him to call out my name next time, but Colton simply couldn't bring himself to do it. In David's world, "Somebody" means me. He didn't move. I crawl out of bed, walk over Colt's floor bed, and sit on the bathtub to support him... Colt, head in the toilet, says "I hope this isn't the end of the road..." Not sure I heard him right, I say, "End of the road? What do you mean?" He says, "I hope I don't throw up my heart and die." He also asked me if it was possible he could throw up his liver. I told him, I didn't think so - or at least, I had never heard of that happening.

It reminded me of last time he was sick, screaming from the bathroom for his Dad first, then, next time, "Somebody!" In between one of his "expulsions," he said with great exasperation, "Lord, save me from this misery."

He has a wonderful spiritual side to him. Last week, we were saying our bedtime prayers. I typically ask if he has a special request, just in case there is something on his mind. He invariably prays for a classmate's diabetes and sometimes has an unspoken request. That night, it was just Andrew's diabetes. I leave, walk into my room and hear very loudly, "Isn't somebody going to pray with me??" Again, "Somebody."

I calmly go in and remind him that we just prayed two minutes ago, if not less. "Oh, yeah," he says. Clearly, he has something else on his mind. "Soooo, did you have something else you wanted to pray about?"

He went on to tell me that in school that day he learned about purgatory. I see, I say, not knowing much about it due to my non-Catholic upbringing. He tells me that it is a place between earth and heaven where the dead people go and God decides if they go to heaven "or down." He then says people need to pray for them. I say, "Ok, good. Well, let's hit it." He prays a very sweet, thoughtful prayer, ending with "And Lord, I pray that you let all the people in purgatory have good lives in heaven." He is passionate, sincere and very convincing. "Amen," we say together.

I tell him that I don't know a lot about purgatory, but I do know that some people don't believe in it. I added, however, that I know Catholics do. "Oh, I do believe," he said with great enthusiasm. "I believe."

So, tenderly, I ask, "Do you think Grampy is in purgatory," thinking of my Dad who died unexpectedly four years ago. "Nope," he said with great glee. "I just got him out!"

What a joy Colton is to me...

I will end with this, as he lays here beside me on the bed, still recovering ... It's an article that appeared this weekend that quotes him. Beside the Wide Awake Club, I think it is the first time - though I am sure it will not be his last. Please read my PS comment at the end.

Scouts' pancake breakfast provides ray of light, full stomach to needy
THE FLINT JOURNAL FIRST EDITION
Sunday, March 09, 2008
By Beata Mostafavi
FLINT - Ed Hinman took a break from chilly air Saturday morning to enjoy a plate of hot pancakes, sausage links and coffee inside St. Paul Episcopal Church.

The former union carpenter, 40, who lives in a homeless shelter in Flint, said it was nice of the Boy Scouts to spend a day helping the community by providing a free hearty breakfast.

"I think it's good for them, and it's definitely good for us," he said at the Scouts' annual "Feed the Hungry Breakfast." "I wasn't going to eat at all."

More than 30 Cub and Boy Scouts ages 7-18 helped cook and serve roughly 100 pounds of donated food to more than 200 people at the church at 711 S. Saginaw Street.

"I just like helping out," said Joe Latavis, 16, a junior at Swartz Creek High School, as he whipped up pancake batter under a tent outside the church. "At times, it makes me sad to see that so many people are here ... but I like to see the smiles on people's faces."

Wearing a hairnet while dressed in his full blue Cub Scout uniform, Colton Frownfelter scooped up ready-to-serve steamy hot cakes.

"There are a lot of people here, and this could really help the community," said Colton, 10, a fourth grader at St. John Vianney Catholic School.

The efforts definitely helped such residents as Brian Smith, 37, who was happy to see children getting involved.

"I think it's very nice and thoughtful," said Smith, who lives in a Flint homeless shelter after getting laid off from a temporary staffing firm in Brighton.

"I think it's good for them to do that because it teaches them at a young age to be caring about other people and teaches them about humanity.

"Being jobless and homeless and not having adequate funds to eat, this breakfast definitely helps me out."

The breakfast was organized by Tall Pine Scout Council Boy Scouts of America in partnership with the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan, along with co-sponsors Great Giant IGA and Country Fresh Dairy.

Erica Hall of Flint Township watched as son Myles, 7, excitedly carried milk and juice cartons through the room.

She said it's a good lesson for him after a fire wrecked their family's home in November.

"A lot of people reached out to help us, so I think it's important that, whenever possible, he help others," she said. "It provides them with a sense of community and involvement with others who are less fortunate."

Anthony Watson, executive of the Tall Pine Council's Baden Powell District, said the experience should give the young men an up-close view of what's happening around them.

"It's important that they understand the necessity of giving back and that we're all interrelated and that it's important to help other people meet their needs," he said.

PS - When I asked Colt about quote, noting how proud I was of him to say such a thing, he just laughed. "I didn't really say it," he said. I immediately assumed he was misquoted or the kid next to him said it instead. "Oh," I ask. "What do you mean? Who said it?" "Well, I said it, but it is actually something I heard someone else say on television."

Who said TV isn't educational??

On my mind...

As if you cared - the following represents just a titch of my mental ponderings these days.

Bush Says No Recession; Economists Differ
Honest to God? Bush really said publicly that the United States was not bound for a recession? Truly? I want what he's having!

Prince Harry On Front Lines in Afghanistan
Oh Good Lord! Take him off the front line! What are they thinking??

FBI Launches Clemens Perjury Investigation
I can't imagine caring any less about whether or not a baseball player took human growth hormones or steroids. Please - people, someone lied about weapons of mass destruction and then proclaimed to the world, mission accomplished. Hello! Which is worse - steriods to speed recovery or allowing thousands to die for a lie? I say, let Clemens go and start investigating some real crime!

Hasselbeck: Obama's Life Is in Danger
Why do I care anything about what Elizabeth Hasselbeck says? I don't - and I won't, ever. Now if she has insider information, that's one thing, but it's her young, white Republican opinion. Why doesn't she focus on McCain??

Cafferty: McCain not U.S.-born; does it matter?
Citizenship is citizenship. Why are we just now finding this out? Did he lie on his resume?? If we let him in, why not Granholm? She Canadian and holds far more promise than the 71-year-old Panamanian!

McCain Goofs, Calls Himself a Liberal
This one I laughed out loud on! You say goof, I say ploy. He's got to do something to compete with the Obama train...

Drew Peterson: 'I Controlled My Family'
No kidding?? He seems so docile! What is taking so long to lock this guy up??

1 in 100 Americans is behind bars
Notice they did not say what KIND of bar!!

Oil prices set new record above $102
Say it with me - 4 bucks for a gallon of gas. And yes, while we have all heard that the Bush oil dynasty has nothing to do with the elevated prices, why does my mind always go there?

Miley Cyrus likes to drink ketchup from bottle
This one I had to take a second look at. Yes, it truly is a news story. Did someone really get paid for that piece? Is it really worth the time, energy or paper used to compose the sentences? Again, I do not care. Why would anyone care about that ridiculous fact?

Court date delayed in latest dispute between Flint Clerk Inez Brown and Mayor Don Williamson's administration
I had to throw one in from the local media. This one promises to be a box office favorite. Who is going to win? The fact is, the contenders share the same audience. I'm predicting loyalties will be tested in this matter - Inez is going to see who her true friends are - and Williamson might be the only one who is surprised. Are you ready to rummmmbbbllleeee???

Homeless and living in a service truck...

A friend just phoned and told me they found a homeless man living in their service truck. It's clear he has been there a while and was likely going to return. He left his coat and some belongings in a garbage bag.

The truck is parked in Grand Blanc.

While she was telling me of their plight (what should they do, call the police, leave food?), my thoughts went to Josiah, the 18-year-old contestant who told the American Idol world last week that he lives in his car. While he said he wasn't exactly homeless, he cried moments later and said he was lonely and often scared. Looking at him sprawled out (or crammed into) the front seat of that car was heartbreaking. At least he was living in his car in a warm climate. The homeless man in my friend's truck hasn't been so fortunate with windchills dropping to way, way below zero in recent weeks.

And so we have it in this recession-bound nation of great wealth. We have a growing number of people who no longer have an appropriate shelter, whether it be in Los Angeles or Grand Blanc. With the mortgage crisis breathing down our necks, I can't help but wonder how many more will be seeking warmth in parked service vehicles. How long before entire families are cramming themselves into cars and trucks to survive the elements of their daily lives?

This issue of diminishing resources across the country is, in part, why I was so interested in attending the State of the County address last evening. What are our local leaders doing to help us survive? What hope do we have as the nation is only beginning to realize (or admit) there is a problem?

The address included the important fact that Genesee County is not alone in grappling with vexing financial challenges. Board Chair Woodrow Stanley said our political leaders in Lansing and Washington will have to play a large role in finding answers to these issues which if left unchecked, will become a major crisis for counties across our state.

Other exerpts include:
"Genesee County’s future and Flint’s future are bound tightly together.

"But what gives me cause for guarded optimism is the knowledge that we have been on this road before. We faced recession before. We faced plant closings before. We have faced double digit unemployment before. We have faced negative national press before.

"And friends, we’re still standing.

"Maya Angelou said it best when she stated, “and still I rise.”

"I believe with every fiber in my being that our community will continue to rise.

"We refer to ourselves as Genesee County, but isn’t Genesee community a more accurate description? Whether you live in Montrose or Mt. Morris, Goodrich or Genesee, Fenton or Flint, we all have the same hopes, dreams, and desires. We all want safe neighborhoods, safe schools, well-maintained roads, timely emergency response, good health care, and a robust economy. It is quite apparent that regardless of our zip codes, we are a community of common heritage and a shared destiny.

"In this historic presidential election year, it’s not uncommon to hear talk – a lot of talk – about the need for change. It seems this year especially people across this nation are looking for change, for hope, for a break with the status quo.

"For years, we have talked of economic transitions, especially in this community where we have been so closely linked to the automotive industry. Doing more with less has been a mantra we all have grown weary of hearing. I think it is safe to say we need something else. In fact, we need to move beyond transition to transformation, a fundamental change in how we approach public service delivery.

"Indeed, I feel a sense of transformation.

"... This transformation that I’m talking about isn’t just an upgrade of equipment and processes for county employees ... Going forward, we must, as an organization and community, embrace a cultural reorientation, a new way of thinking, a more entrepreneurial way of doing things – a more competitive way of doing things. This mindset must permeate every part of our community.

"Finally, consider that two weeks ago, the New York Giants were 14 point underdogs in the Super Bowl and they now own the Lombardi Trophy. Consider further that a mere two years ago, few people seriously believed that a freshman Senator by the name of Barack Obama could ever be a legitimate presidential candidate. Today he is the front runner for the Democratic presidential nomination.

"Our community has been the proverbial 14-point underdog, the candidate given no chance of ever being competitive. Someone once said, however, “With but few exceptions, it is always the underdog who wins through sheer willpower.”

"Our nation stands on the brink of major political transformation. So too must Genesee County adopt this new attitude of transformation. We must activate our willpower. There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen. It has been said, “You can never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

"I believe we are a community of destiny. I've never lost faith in our resiliency, our capacity to overcome. This community understands what it takes to survive- it's more than money, it's more than jobs- not that both are unimportant- we can survive without a lot of things, but we can't survive and be successful without heart, without compassion, without the reach down deep determination to succeed against all odds. We are best when we are watching out for one another, when we share our resources with others in need. When we turn to each other rather than on each other. When your hardship becomes my hardship. That kind of success and grit and determination can't be quantified in a magazine, in a newspaper, in the wrong opinions of people who say our survival defies logic.

"I do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. I pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock-strewn road. Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone, and transform every stumbling block into a stepping-stone."


I feel hope -- for me, for my family, for the homeless man living in my friend's vehicle. We are all in desperate need of transformation.

Dr. Phil on the line

So if you don't know it, you probably should. I don't answer the phone at the house. It rings and rings. None of us seem to ever really hear it. I remember as a kid jumping and running to hear who was on the other end. My kids don't have the same fascination.

And we don't have an answering machine. It's surprising how many people chide us for not being able to leave a message - as if it is our obligation to provide the service for them. It's not - and we don't. We would highly recommend it. It has simplified our life immensely.

That's why it was surprising the other night when Isi picked up the phone on the third or fourth ring. She runs upstairs and says it is Paramount Pictures on the line - the Dr. Phil Show.

Riiiggghhtttt.

I shake off my lethargy and reached for the cordless, wondering which wiseguy friend was getting me back for some practical joke I played on them.

Jennifer introduces herself as a producer for the Dr. Phil Show. Jennifer, I think to myself, clever name for a ruse. Jennifer says she read the article the other day featuring my comments about technology.

Ah-ha, I shout to myself, it's Dawn since she was the one who hooked me up to the AP writer several weeks ago. She was the only one I told about responding to the antidotal experience request. As Jennifer went on, however, it became clear that it wasn't a payback after all. I truly was talking with someone from Dr. Phil.

We spent about 15 minutes on the line as I described my experiences with popular technology today, including myspace, twitter and of course, my chumby. What she zeroed in on was my relationship with my kids, whom I typically introduce to the fascinations of cyberspace.

"No, they don't have a myspace," I respond, noting that they would love one. "Yes, I think it is dangerous for kids their age. Yes they have seen mine. Yes, I have been spurned by at least one young person for having a myspace. While the 20-something politely accepted me as a friend, I think I am at the bottom of her list, hidden, hoping a reader might get bored before they discover the only 46-year-old on the list."

The bottom line is an article sharing my thoughts on the "gadget wars" between adults and youth has been published by the Associated Press. For kicks, I googled myself and discovered that it was actually featured in numerous papers across the country and beyond. Australia and Vietnam actually picked it up and I think it was on some sort of listserve in the UK. To spare you the work of looking it up on your own, and because I am shameless, I went ahead and copied it into this post. It ain't much, but it's all I got. My comments are near the bottom - and yes, she quoted me accurately.

For what it is worth, Jennifer requested photos of me and the kids in case they decide to pursue the topic. She also asked if they could call back with more questions. Of course, I said.

I just hope someone in my house answers the phone if they do!

********


The Associated Press

Youth Vs. Adults in Gadget Wars

By MARTHA IRVINE – Jan 22, 2008

CHICAGO (AP) — Scott Seigal was awakened one recent early morning by a cell phone text message. It was from his girlfriend's mother.

His friends' parents have posted greetings on his MySpace page for all the world to see. And his 72-year-old grandmother sends him online instant messages every day so they can better stay in touch while he's at college.

"It's nice that adults know SOME things," says Seigal, an 18-year-old freshman at Binghamton University in New York. He especially likes IMing with his grandma because he's "not a huge talker on the phone."

Increasingly, however, he and other young people are feeling uncomfortable about their elders encroaching on what many young adults and teens consider their technological turf.

Long gone are the days when the average, middle-aged adult did well to simply work a computer. Now those same adults have Gmail, upload videos on YouTube, and sport the latest high-tech gadgets.

Young people have responded, as they always have, by searching out the latest way to stay ahead in the race for technological know-how and cool. They use Twitter, which allows blogging from one's mobile phone or BlackBerry, or Hulu.com, a site where they can download videos and TV programs.

They customize their cell phones with various faceplates and ringtones. And, sometimes, they find ways to exclude adults — using high-frequency ringtones that teens can hear but most adults can't, for instance.

Nowhere are the technological turf wars more apparent than on social networking sites, such as MySpace and Facebook, which went from being student-oriented to allowing adults outside the college ranks to join.

Gary Rudman, a California-based youth market researcher, has heard the complaints. He regularly interviews young people who think it's "creepy" when an older person — we're talking someone they know — asks to join their social network as a "friend." It means, among other things, that they can view each others' profiles and what they and their friends post.

"It would be like a 40-year-old attending the prom or a frat party," Rudman says. "It just doesn't work."

It's a particular quandary for image-conscious teens, says Eric Kuhn, a junior at Hamilton College in upstate New York, who's blogged about the etiquette of social networking.

He accepted his mom's invitation to be Facebook friends and has, in turn, become online friends with other adults she knows. But so far, he says, his 16-year-old sister has declined to add their mom "because she thinks it is not cool."

Lakeshia Poole, a 24-year-old from Atlanta, says "my Facebook self has become a watered down version of me." Worried about older adults snooping around, she's now more careful about what she posts and has also made her profile private, so only her online friends can see it.

"It's somewhat a Catch-22, because now I'm hidden from the people I would really like to connect with," she says.

Lauren Auster-Gussman, a freshman at Juniata College in Pennsylvania, says it's particularly awkward when one of her parents' friends asks to join her social network. She thinks Facebook should only be used by people younger than, say, 40.

"I mean, I'm in college," she says. "There are bound to be at least a few drunken pictures of me on Facebook, and I don't need my parents' friends seeing them."

There are ways around the problem.

It's possible on some sites, for instance, to limit what someone can see on your profile, though some users think it's a pain to have to deal with that.

"That is the beauty of Facebook and other online social networks. If you want to only interact with your peers, then you can adjust the settings to only allow that," says Katie Jones, a senior at Ohio Wesleyan University, who's studied ways prospective students use Facebook to contact students at colleges and universities they're interested in attending.

It's also possible to simply decline or ignore an adult's request to be an online friend. Or adults could back off and only use social networking to contact their own peers.

But it's not always so easy to relinquish that control, especially for parents of teens, says Kathryn Montgomery, the author of "Generation Digital: Politics, Commerce and Childhood in the Age of the Internet" and mother of a 14-year-old.

"As parents, we have to figure out where to draw the line between encouraging and allowing our teens to have autonomy, to experience their separate culture, and when we need to monitor their use of media," says Montgomery, a professor of communication at American University.

She says it's especially important to help young people understand that social networking is often more public than they think. Sometimes monitoring them is the best way to do that.

Sue Frownfelter, a 46-year-old mom in Flint, Mich., thinks it's less of an issue for parents who discover technology with — or even before — their children. Among other things, she has a blog, uses Twitter and has a Chumby, a personal Internet device that displays anything from news and weather to photos and eBay auctions.

Her children, ages 9 and 11, begged her to allow them to have a MySpace page, because she does. Instead, she suggested Imbee.com, a social networking site for kids that allows parental monitoring.

"I can't imagine my life without technology! It has truly become an extension of who I am and who my family will likely be," says Frownfelter, who works at a community college.

Still, in today's world, parents are finding that the urge to stake out technological turf is starting at a very young age.

Jennifer Abelson, a mom in New York, says her 2-year-old daughter asks every day if she can play on the "'puter" on such kid-oriented sites as Noggin.com and Nickjr.com.

"She's constantly telling us 'I will do it!' and 'Go away!' if we try to interfere with her 'working,'" Abelson says.

"It's pretty amazing to see technology ingrained at such a young age. But I know she's learned so much from being able to use technology on her own."

Martha Irvine is an AP national writer. She can be reached at mirvine(at)ap.org or via http://myspace.com/irvineap
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